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#1
Featured / Re: The Subtitle Says This Is ...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - Today at 06:09:06 AMReading the news about how our newest USN aircraft carriers are designed, and currently operated by the POSOTUS and his Turd Reich henchmen, has jogged my memories back to my old seafaring days. And, thankfully, not all of my memories from that time in my life are bad.
And so, while thinking about the issues the USS Gerald R. Ford has with something as basic as sanitary plumbing, I remembered what Jake the Plumber taught me aboard my old boat. Now, Jake was an "Airedale." ("Airedale" was slang for a sailor attached to an aviation unit, as opposed to ordinary "sea dogs" attached to a ship. Although, if alcohol was available when titles were discussed, we "ship's company" sailors preferred to be called "mighty seafaring men.") Anyway, Jake's family was in the plumbing business, and he intended to return to the family business at the end of his hitch in the Navy. And, Jake got his nickname from that, and the fact that he actually did look like, and often acted like a stereotypical plumber right out of central casting. (There was more, of course, to Jake than that, as it was he who was the first to recommend that I try the food at Los Caracoles, down near the harbor, in Barcelona. And so, I figured, if Jake the Plumber liked their food, then I would probably like it too. But, it was only later, after dining there several times, that I learned Los Caracoles was a world famous restaurant.) Anyway, it was also Jake the Plumber who taught me:
A plumber only needs to know two things:
1. Shit flows downhill.
2. Payday's on Friday.
Now, he never taught me:
3. Don't lick your fingers. (But, neither Jake, nor anyone else, needed to spell that one out for me.)
But, getting back to the USS Gerald R. Ford, it appears the ship's designers never learned basic plumping, because:
As per this article:
"The world's largest aircraft carrier is experiencing difficulties with a service that is an integral part of every sailor's life — the bathroom.
The USS Gerald R. Ford, which cost roughly $13 billion to manufacture and most recently played a part in U.S. strikes against Venezuela that saw the capture of its sitting President Nicolás Maduro, is facing consistent plumbing issues with the nearly 650 toilets aboard the vessel.
The complications primarily involve the Ford's vacuum collection, holding and transfer system, or VCHT, which transports and disposes wastewater by sucking fecal matter through pipes using pressure."
And, further along in this same article:
"Carter confirmed to Military Times in an emailed statement that the Ford averaged about one maintenance call per day and that those calls were often the result of "improper materials being introduced to the system.""
I'm suspecting that "improper materials being introduced to the system" is a Navy euphemism for "sabotage," similar to how "Racial Unrest" was once a euphemism for mutiny.
Now, from the little research I've done, it appears that VCHT systems utilize fresh water for flushing, rather than saltwater, and are usually found on civilian cruise ships. And, that's nice, but aircraft carriers are NOT civilian cruise ships. And so, this looks likes a costly, problem-some case of overenginnering, because, at sea on my old WWII Era boat, gravity did what now requires a vacuum pump. And, saltwater, pumped directly from the sea, simply flushed sewage downhill into the sea. But, when docked in port, the ship's sewer pipes were connected to a land-based sewer system having a waste treatment plant. And, I have no reason to believe the USS Gerald R. Ford does anything different when it's docked in port.
And so, while thinking about the issues the USS Gerald R. Ford has with something as basic as sanitary plumbing, I remembered what Jake the Plumber taught me aboard my old boat. Now, Jake was an "Airedale." ("Airedale" was slang for a sailor attached to an aviation unit, as opposed to ordinary "sea dogs" attached to a ship. Although, if alcohol was available when titles were discussed, we "ship's company" sailors preferred to be called "mighty seafaring men.") Anyway, Jake's family was in the plumbing business, and he intended to return to the family business at the end of his hitch in the Navy. And, Jake got his nickname from that, and the fact that he actually did look like, and often acted like a stereotypical plumber right out of central casting. (There was more, of course, to Jake than that, as it was he who was the first to recommend that I try the food at Los Caracoles, down near the harbor, in Barcelona. And so, I figured, if Jake the Plumber liked their food, then I would probably like it too. But, it was only later, after dining there several times, that I learned Los Caracoles was a world famous restaurant.) Anyway, it was also Jake the Plumber who taught me:
A plumber only needs to know two things:
1. Shit flows downhill.
2. Payday's on Friday.
Now, he never taught me:
3. Don't lick your fingers. (But, neither Jake, nor anyone else, needed to spell that one out for me.)
But, getting back to the USS Gerald R. Ford, it appears the ship's designers never learned basic plumping, because:
As per this article:
"The world's largest aircraft carrier is experiencing difficulties with a service that is an integral part of every sailor's life — the bathroom.
The USS Gerald R. Ford, which cost roughly $13 billion to manufacture and most recently played a part in U.S. strikes against Venezuela that saw the capture of its sitting President Nicolás Maduro, is facing consistent plumbing issues with the nearly 650 toilets aboard the vessel.
The complications primarily involve the Ford's vacuum collection, holding and transfer system, or VCHT, which transports and disposes wastewater by sucking fecal matter through pipes using pressure."
And, further along in this same article:
"Carter confirmed to Military Times in an emailed statement that the Ford averaged about one maintenance call per day and that those calls were often the result of "improper materials being introduced to the system.""
I'm suspecting that "improper materials being introduced to the system" is a Navy euphemism for "sabotage," similar to how "Racial Unrest" was once a euphemism for mutiny.
Now, from the little research I've done, it appears that VCHT systems utilize fresh water for flushing, rather than saltwater, and are usually found on civilian cruise ships. And, that's nice, but aircraft carriers are NOT civilian cruise ships. And so, this looks likes a costly, problem-some case of overenginnering, because, at sea on my old WWII Era boat, gravity did what now requires a vacuum pump. And, saltwater, pumped directly from the sea, simply flushed sewage downhill into the sea. But, when docked in port, the ship's sewer pipes were connected to a land-based sewer system having a waste treatment plant. And, I have no reason to believe the USS Gerald R. Ford does anything different when it's docked in port.
#2
Techmology and Scientism / Re: I forgot how to physics an...
Last post by chaotic neutral observer - Today at 04:18:26 AMQuote from: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2026, 04:20:18 AMQuote from: chaotic neutral observer on August 04, 2018, 05:17:18 PMQuote from: Doktor Howl on August 04, 2018, 06:54:46 AMI can't argue with this sort of superior logic.When you spend six months designing and building a 200-ton robot monster, only to discover that a roomba with a salad fork duct-taped to it would have worked just as well, you think about these things.
I would still do it. For the aesthetic.
I have now reached the point in my career where I don't mind if the customer is asking for something entirely unnecessary, unprofitable, and even unsaleable, as long as it's fun for me to make.
When I was young and naive, I worked on a project that, as I found out later, contributed heavily to the bankruptcy of the customer. They asked for a thing they couldn't afford, and didn't have a transmission license for, and we gave it them. I believe there was a few million worth of telecoms equipment scrapped at the end of it. But, I learned a lot about signal processing along the way.
Now I am long of tooth and hideous of spirit, and over the next several weeks I will, by the Power of Science, transcend the limits of a certain obsolete and decrepit communications protocol, draining the blood of a poor guileless startup in the process.
I think I can succeed at what they're asking for, and it's sure as hell an interesting problem. But when they try to sell it, the response will invariably be, "That's pretty cool, but what would we do with it? It's ten years too late."
And I'm okay with that.
#3
Literate Chaotic / The Grinding
Last post by chaotic neutral observer - Today at 01:13:23 AMThe squeaky wheel gets the grease, they say.
But neither upper management nor their flunkies understand the need for grease. Perhaps grease is not in the budget, or perhaps they think wheels are outdated, and no longer of use.
Yet the wheels continue to turn, and turn, and the squeaks are swelling into a horrid squealing chorus of failing bearings.
They don't like this sound. They don't understand it. It distresses them. But for me, it's a kind of revenge. They can only pretend reality doesn't matter for so long.
But neither upper management nor their flunkies understand the need for grease. Perhaps grease is not in the budget, or perhaps they think wheels are outdated, and no longer of use.
Yet the wheels continue to turn, and turn, and the squeaks are swelling into a horrid squealing chorus of failing bearings.
They don't like this sound. They don't understand it. It distresses them. But for me, it's a kind of revenge. They can only pretend reality doesn't matter for so long.
#4
Featured / Re: The Subtitle Says This Is ...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 05:30:52 PMNothing says "the next Belesaurius" quite like leaving your biggest supply dump 9 minutes flight time from your enemy, with 95% of his missiles able to make the reach.
We're fucking debil.
We're fucking debil.
#5
RPG Ghetto / Re: Working on a setting, and ...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Yesterday at 05:26:17 PMSo it's skill check theater?
Is this a video game or a TTRPG?
Is this a video game or a TTRPG?
#6
Discordian Recipes / Re: The Functionality of the B...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - August 17, 2026, 05:02:21 PMQuote from: Pergamos on August 17, 2026, 06:24:10 AMNow if I could just figure out the temperature and cooking time on this, we could have a vibrant forum once more.I can't offer you any help with temperature and cooking time. But, starting new metaphysical topics on the Discordian Recipes Board, rather than on the Principia Discussion Board, might be worth a shot. After all, it partially worked for this topic.
#7
RPG Ghetto / Working on a setting, and also...
Last post by Pergamos - August 17, 2026, 06:48:55 AMSo I am working on a system of mechanics. I want a game that decenters combat, and that centers biological engineering, social interactions, and plumbing. The setting is solar punk, on a space station. The aesthetic is weeds in the cracks. The setting diverges from our real world in the 90s, when the biosphere 2 experiments were being conducted, in the game world they were successful and biological science advanced enough to make constructed biosphere's in space practical. Africa ended up uniting and an international organization, with the US, Russia, China, the EU and the AU (African union) as members ended up constructing an international space station. Poop is an important resource, controlled by waste management, who are known as the shit lords. hoarding poop is a serious crime, and jenkem is a drug widely considered a scourge on society. Combat, if it occurs at all, is handled with a single roll and some free form roleplay. biosphere modification is a daily task, along with group politics such as propaganda, and crafting, on a more short term time scale there's mostly interpersional interactions, hacking, and plumbing, which includes atmosphere engineering. The rogue plumber in brazil is definitely an inspiration. Biospheres have varying degrees of biodiversity, and once they are diverse enough they start to alter their environment towards their ideal conditions. players can help or hinder that, and they can also work to change the biosphere so that it has different ideal conditions.
#8
Discordian Recipes / Re: The Functionality of the B...
Last post by Pergamos - August 17, 2026, 06:24:10 AMNow if I could just figure out the temperature and cooking time on this, we could have a vibrant forum once more.
#9
Featured / Re: The Subtitle Says This Is ...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - August 16, 2026, 06:06:45 AMOkay ... one of the aircraft carrier logistics mysteries has been solved, as per the following article:
As per this article:
"Alleged supply problems on the USS Abraham Lincoln can be traced back in part to the start of the Iran war, when an Iranian drone strike took out a key American logistical hub in Bahrain, according to a report."
So, they're having "Alleged" supply problems. Well ... okay, I don't much like getting sued either. But, at least, this verifies that Bahrain was a "key American logistical hub."
But, I'm not buying that it would have been a usable logistical hub for aircraft carriers, or anything else trying to fight a war right in the middle of the narrow Strait of Hormuz. Nothing can pass through the Strait of Hormuz without becoming an easy target for Iran. It doesn't matter whether it's an aircraft carrier, a cruiser, a destroyer, a mine sweeper, a submarine, a fleet supply ship, a fleet oiler, or a rubber raft.
And, further along in this article it is written:
"The Lincoln has been stationed in the Arabian Sea, making Bahrain a natural choice for logistical needs. Instead, the Navy has been forced to rely upon the smaller Naval Support Facility Diego Garcia, about 2,200 miles away in the Indian Ocean, an anonymous official told The Times."
Well ... I can understand why that statement came from "an anonymous official," because I wouldn't want to go on record as having said that either. I mean, that statement begs the question: Since Diego Garcia is a long, long way from everything, where are all of the supplies coming from that are "alleged" to be available on that tiny, remote coral atoll?
A quick look at the map tells the story. Using Diego Garcia as a logistical hub is a ridiculous "solution" to an aircraft carrier replenishment problem in the Arabian Sea. And so, I'm suspicious of that statement from "an anonymous official."
Concerning a related detail, the problem of simply getting mail to and from the aircraft carriers is really bugging me. And, it's bugging me even more after I remembered a little, but important detail about how aircraft carriers operated back in the day. That is, it used to be standard operating procedure (SOP) for aircraft attempting to land on an aircraft carrier to dump all of their fuel, except for enough to attempt three landings and a "bingo." That is, if the aircraft failed to land after three attempts to "catch a wire" (A "wire" is slang for an arresting gear cable.), it was "bingoed" to a "bingo" landing field within fifty miles of the ship. And, that meant, the ship was very rarely more than fifty miles away from an emergency landing field when its aircraft were flying. This SOP existed to reduce the possibility of an aircraft crashing onto the flight deck with a near full load of fuel, and possibly ordnance. A crash under any circumstances is bad enough. But, a crash with a near full load of fuel would kill a lot of sailors, and possibly even destroy the ship.
The only exception to the SOP that I remember is when we were buzzed by a Russian "Bear" bomber in mid-ocean. Now, during the Cold War, Russia used to send those long-range bombers out over the Atlantic, from somewhere near Murmansk, following a flight plan that took them all the way down to Angola on the west coast of Africa. And, as aircraft carriers are hard to hide, even in the middle of the ocean, those bombers could find us and intentionally buzz the ship, with their bomb bay doors open no less, to test our response. And, the Russians expected our ship's response would be to launch a couple of F-4 Phantoms to chase them away. It all sounds like a silly game, but the Russians knew our SOP. And so, they knew that, after chasing away their bomber, our aircraft had to dump most of their fuel, and then had less than 100% change of landing back on the ship. (Even without dumping, the aircraft still didn't have enough fuel to make it to a "bingo" landing field, as inflight refueling would have had to have been scheduled in advance.) And, although the pilots, and RIOs, would probably have been rescued from the sea after ejecting, the aircraft would have been lost. (As incidents like this were common, coming back from my first cruise, our F-4 Phantoms had been fueled, armed, positioned on the catapults, and had pilots and RIOs standing by in shifts, not long after we exited the Strait of Gibraltar. So, it only took four minutes to launch, after the Bear bomber had been identified on radar. I don't remember anything like that happening on my second cruise. But, that return was odd in that we were relieved by the USS Forrestal in mid-ocean, and then steamed into a storm so violent that the ship had to be drydocked to repair the damage.)
I bring all of this up because, even in a war zone, an aircraft carrier is going to make an effort to be within an acceptable distance from a "bingo" landing field when its aircraft are flying. And, any acceptable bingo landing field, no matter where it is, should be more than capable of being utilized to also deliver the mail.
Last, after more than fifty years, I think I finally figured out an inside joke. The other day, when I learned that the Navy acronym "COD" stood for Carrier Onboard Delivery, I took a couple of minutes to search for photographs of the of aircraft. And, I did find plenty of photos that matched the plane I remember. But, I couldn't find a COD that was painted the same color as the one on my boat. I thought that was odd, so I looked again this morning, but with no success. Then I tried to think of the name of a color that best matched that of my boat's COD. And, when I realized the closest color match to my boat's Carrier Onboard Delivery aircraft was that of a UPS delivery truck, it hit me. Now I'm surprised the Navy brass let its crew keep that color scheme for so long.
As per this article:
"Alleged supply problems on the USS Abraham Lincoln can be traced back in part to the start of the Iran war, when an Iranian drone strike took out a key American logistical hub in Bahrain, according to a report."
So, they're having "Alleged" supply problems. Well ... okay, I don't much like getting sued either. But, at least, this verifies that Bahrain was a "key American logistical hub."
But, I'm not buying that it would have been a usable logistical hub for aircraft carriers, or anything else trying to fight a war right in the middle of the narrow Strait of Hormuz. Nothing can pass through the Strait of Hormuz without becoming an easy target for Iran. It doesn't matter whether it's an aircraft carrier, a cruiser, a destroyer, a mine sweeper, a submarine, a fleet supply ship, a fleet oiler, or a rubber raft.
And, further along in this article it is written:
"The Lincoln has been stationed in the Arabian Sea, making Bahrain a natural choice for logistical needs. Instead, the Navy has been forced to rely upon the smaller Naval Support Facility Diego Garcia, about 2,200 miles away in the Indian Ocean, an anonymous official told The Times."
Well ... I can understand why that statement came from "an anonymous official," because I wouldn't want to go on record as having said that either. I mean, that statement begs the question: Since Diego Garcia is a long, long way from everything, where are all of the supplies coming from that are "alleged" to be available on that tiny, remote coral atoll?
A quick look at the map tells the story. Using Diego Garcia as a logistical hub is a ridiculous "solution" to an aircraft carrier replenishment problem in the Arabian Sea. And so, I'm suspicious of that statement from "an anonymous official."
Concerning a related detail, the problem of simply getting mail to and from the aircraft carriers is really bugging me. And, it's bugging me even more after I remembered a little, but important detail about how aircraft carriers operated back in the day. That is, it used to be standard operating procedure (SOP) for aircraft attempting to land on an aircraft carrier to dump all of their fuel, except for enough to attempt three landings and a "bingo." That is, if the aircraft failed to land after three attempts to "catch a wire" (A "wire" is slang for an arresting gear cable.), it was "bingoed" to a "bingo" landing field within fifty miles of the ship. And, that meant, the ship was very rarely more than fifty miles away from an emergency landing field when its aircraft were flying. This SOP existed to reduce the possibility of an aircraft crashing onto the flight deck with a near full load of fuel, and possibly ordnance. A crash under any circumstances is bad enough. But, a crash with a near full load of fuel would kill a lot of sailors, and possibly even destroy the ship.
The only exception to the SOP that I remember is when we were buzzed by a Russian "Bear" bomber in mid-ocean. Now, during the Cold War, Russia used to send those long-range bombers out over the Atlantic, from somewhere near Murmansk, following a flight plan that took them all the way down to Angola on the west coast of Africa. And, as aircraft carriers are hard to hide, even in the middle of the ocean, those bombers could find us and intentionally buzz the ship, with their bomb bay doors open no less, to test our response. And, the Russians expected our ship's response would be to launch a couple of F-4 Phantoms to chase them away. It all sounds like a silly game, but the Russians knew our SOP. And so, they knew that, after chasing away their bomber, our aircraft had to dump most of their fuel, and then had less than 100% change of landing back on the ship. (Even without dumping, the aircraft still didn't have enough fuel to make it to a "bingo" landing field, as inflight refueling would have had to have been scheduled in advance.) And, although the pilots, and RIOs, would probably have been rescued from the sea after ejecting, the aircraft would have been lost. (As incidents like this were common, coming back from my first cruise, our F-4 Phantoms had been fueled, armed, positioned on the catapults, and had pilots and RIOs standing by in shifts, not long after we exited the Strait of Gibraltar. So, it only took four minutes to launch, after the Bear bomber had been identified on radar. I don't remember anything like that happening on my second cruise. But, that return was odd in that we were relieved by the USS Forrestal in mid-ocean, and then steamed into a storm so violent that the ship had to be drydocked to repair the damage.)
I bring all of this up because, even in a war zone, an aircraft carrier is going to make an effort to be within an acceptable distance from a "bingo" landing field when its aircraft are flying. And, any acceptable bingo landing field, no matter where it is, should be more than capable of being utilized to also deliver the mail.
Last, after more than fifty years, I think I finally figured out an inside joke. The other day, when I learned that the Navy acronym "COD" stood for Carrier Onboard Delivery, I took a couple of minutes to search for photographs of the of aircraft. And, I did find plenty of photos that matched the plane I remember. But, I couldn't find a COD that was painted the same color as the one on my boat. I thought that was odd, so I looked again this morning, but with no success. Then I tried to think of the name of a color that best matched that of my boat's COD. And, when I realized the closest color match to my boat's Carrier Onboard Delivery aircraft was that of a UPS delivery truck, it hit me. Now I'm surprised the Navy brass let its crew keep that color scheme for so long.
#10
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Clacton By-Election
Last post by Pope Mome Apocrypha - August 15, 2026, 11:01:31 PMUnfortunately, our dear Count Binface lost the election.
Fortunately, the investigation into Farage reopened pretty much the moment he was sworn in once more.
Wonderfully, Count Binface received nearly a third of the vote.
Fortunately, the investigation into Farage reopened pretty much the moment he was sworn in once more.
Wonderfully, Count Binface received nearly a third of the vote.