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Everyone who calls themselves "wolf-something" or "something-wolf" almost inevitably turns out to be an irredeemable shitneck.

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#1
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Co...
Last post by Doktor Howl - Today at 12:38:32 AM
Quote from: Faust on August 11, 2026, 11:12:38 PMhttps://bsky.app/profile/aiptcomics.com/post/3mstdscfcl22f

Very weird timing.

Im assuming at least one of you is the ceo of Image.

I'll take the small wins when they come.

I put in a call to a guy.

 :lulz:
#2
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Republicultâ„¢ On Parade
Last post by Abbot Mythos - Yesterday at 07:19:08 AM
To the surprise of no one:


"The MyPillow founder and election conspiracy theorist did not explain the alleged 'anomalies' that his team found in the Minnesota Republican gubernatorial primary"

There's no need to read any further.
#3
Featured / Re: The Subtitle Says This Is ...
Last post by Abbot Mythos - August 12, 2026, 07:18:37 AM
From my experience, I don't find much of what is written in this article surprising:


As per this article:

"My son is currently on that ship and listening to him say that he and his shipmates constantly think about jumping off the ship just for relief is so hard to listen to," one worried parent wrote to Stars and Stripes in July. "We are all tucked in at night in our beds at night meanwhile our loved ones are out there fighting with no understanding as to what they're defending."

Sailors aboard Lincoln separately described an incident in which a crew member was prevented from jumping from the ship.

"We already had an instance where watch standers had to stop someone from jumping," one sailor said. The ship's crew was informed about the incident, which occurred a few months ago, during a ship-wide announcement, sailors said."

The Navy did not respond directly to questions about the incident."

My only real surprise is that the above reads like it was an isolated incident. Now, this sort of thing was not an everyday occurrence on my old boat. But, it did happen often enough for the novelty of it to have worn off. Back in the day, in most cases, unhappy sailors went over the side to set themselves up to receive General Discharges, rather than to actually commit suicide. They typically jumped from a forward sponson deck near the bow of the ship, so there would be plenty of opportunity for them to be spotted in the water by the lookouts as the ship steamed past. And, the jumpers often enlisted a friend to watch and report to a lookout that they had see someone jump. I also remember that during our departure for the Mediterranean in the fall of 1973, my friends and I watched something like six different guys jump overboard, from different parts of the ship, between the time we cast off in the harbor, and the time it took us to reach the middle of the breakwater. And, one of them really impressed us by doing a swan dive off of the flight deck.

It is not my intent to make light of any of this. Because, it honestly appears to me that as bad as being aboard an aircraft carrier was back in the day, it's much, much worse today.
#4
Principia Discussion / Re: Have a Zealous Zaraday!
Last post by Abbot Mythos - August 12, 2026, 06:09:17 AM
'Tis Zaraday, the 5th day of the season of Bureaucracy, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3192!

It is recorded in our sacred Principia Discordia that Apostle Zarathud was "a hard nosed hermit of Medieval Europe, Chaosphe Bible Banger, and "Offender of The Faith."

Apostle Zarathud, no doubt, confronted the Sacred Cow Chao at the Chaos Crater, in what is now Sounio National Park, which is located to the east of Athens. So, Discordians who enjoy the great outdoors may wish to pilgrimage there someday. But, be forewarned, to my knowledge, the crater does not contain a bowling alley. You just can't have everything, all at once, in the same place.

And, I have no idea how, or why the Sacred Chao spoke Chinese, or even how Apostle Zarathud and his disciples knew the Sacred Chao was speaking Chinese. The answers to those two questions are part of the Erisian Mysteries.

Hail Eris!

All Hail Discordia!
#5
Apple Talk / Re: Dispatches from the Bone Y...
Last post by chaotic neutral observer - August 12, 2026, 02:13:49 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on August 10, 2026, 05:35:24 PM3.  The well is haunted.  More about that later.

I will follow this thread with considerable interest, not to mention dismay.
#6
Apple Talk / Re: Open Bar: Subpoenaed by Co...
Last post by Faust - August 11, 2026, 11:12:38 PM
https://bsky.app/profile/aiptcomics.com/post/3mstdscfcl22f

Very weird timing.

Im assuming at least one of you is the ceo of Image.

I'll take the small wins when they come.
#7
Apple Talk / Re: Dispatches from the Bone Y...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 09:17:25 PM
*Wander out back with a coffee*

*Clyde and Inky are dangling off of a C130 by their fall protection lanyards singing "Stay up late" by The Talking Heads*

Rodrigo:  "What the fuck?  Aren't you going to do something about these guys?"

Me:  "Yes.  I am going to compliment them on their taste in music."
#8
Aneristic Illusions / Re: The Resistance 2.0!
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 08:10:47 PM
So.  How's this resistance thing coming along?
#9
RPG Ghetto / Re: (For GMs) favorite PCs and...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 05:33:16 PM
Club Foot Jones in PF1e

Pathetic halfling with a club foot (-5 ft movement, cannot run), cook/torchbearer, pathetically grateful to have a job, always talking about saving up enough money to marry his girl (who he has a picture of in his locket), etc.  Looks and sounds like the woobie.

BUT.

He is in fact just a 2nd level expert, but he is also neutral evil and owns an amulet of nondetection with a permanent magic aura spell cast on it to make it seem non-magical (the locket).  He has maxed out bluff to including taking the skill focus (bluff) feat. 

And he aims to rob the party blind.

However, he is aware that vengeful PCs will chase him to the ends of the Earth, so they have to go.  So what he does is steal from each PC when they're for some reason not paying attention.  Then he puts the loot in another PC's gear.  If caught, he bluffs his way through.  His intent is that the PCs come to blows, then he picks the bodies clean.

If it looks like the PCs won't go after each other, he will wait until they're in town and then steal their shit and use bluff to shift blame to some no-name NPC at whatever inn they are staying at (he will in fact plant some of the lesser valuables on the NPC.)

If that doesn't work, he will then work on blackmailing the PCs through a 3rd party, who will afterwards suffer a tragic accident.

He will always have a plausible story.  Remember that he is a skill monkey with no magic other than his amulet.

If discovered, he will flee.  If captured, he will plead desperate poverty trying to feed his wife and 6 children, hoping the PCs forget about the "saving up to marry my girl" thing.

#10
RPG Ghetto / Re: Running my own take on The...
Last post by Doktor Howl - August 11, 2026, 05:20:06 PM
Bump for the pillaging of notes.