Why you think the world is shittier than it really is.

[Suu]

[size=78%]I would flip that question.[/size]


Why should I delay?


She and I are both knocking on 40.  We have both experienced a LOT of life.  We are both pretty clear on what we want in a mate, and luckily works out that we have fit the bill pretty well for each other.


So what am I waiting for other than a predetermined socially accepted amount of time?

How long have you been dating?

How long have you been divorced?

Are you already living together? If not, how do you know she will be someone you can share personal space with? Sleeping over houses is not sharing space. It's a sleepover. How do you know she doesn't do that thing with the toothpaste tube or some other pet peeve?

Or MAYBE CLAIMS TO HAVE AN ALLERGY TO DOING FUCKING DISHES AND LEAVES A NASTY ASS KITCHEN AFTER THEY COOK?!

-Suu
Doesn't mind doing dishes after dinner, but is going to throttle him when he gets home for his new habit of leave pots of ick on the stove.

[AFK]

What difference does a predetermined socially accepted ceremony make? Other than, y'know, it'll cost a fortune if you change your mind, once you get to know her.

I do know her.  That's why I proposed.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Fair enough. Enjoy...

[AFK]

[size=78%]I would flip that question.[/size]


Why should I delay?


She and I are both knocking on 40.  We have both experienced a LOT of life.  We are both pretty clear on what we want in a mate, and luckily works out that we have fit the bill pretty well for each other.


So what am I waiting for other than a predetermined socially accepted amount of time?

How long have you been dating?

How long have you been divorced?

Both questions are irrelevant.  Our relationship is our relationship.  It will be dictated by us, not social conventions.  Numbers are just numbers.  We are two very open people with very open books.  We've seen the nastiest aspects of each others' past lives.  We've seen up close and personal each others' faults and less-than-desirable traits.  And we love each other more with each passing day. 

Are you already living together? If not, how do you know she will be someone you can share personal space with? Sleeping over houses is not sharing space. It's a sleepover. How do you know she doesn't do that thing with the toothpaste tube or some other pet peeve?

I don't get hung up on stupid shit like toothpaste tubes and the like.  We've spent considerable time in each others' homes and lives.  There really are no secrets at this point, as far as how we each run our homes, and they are pretty similar really.  What differences exist are pretty easily negotiable.  Life is kinda short to worry about that stuff really.

[Suu]

Fine then.

Good luck.

[Suu]

Actually, you know what? No.

As previously mentioned, I don't think anyone here actually hates you. We're openly criticizing your choices with your best interests in mind. How much shit did PD give me during my post-divorce insanity? The shitty boyfriends I had...the lessons I had to fucking learn with that. Did I want to hear it then? FUCK NO. I wanted my happy, but with that pretend happy came a world of shit. I wasn't ready, and the board saw it. This resulted in me having tearful phone calls with Roger, and pouring all my emotional bullshit in person on Richter and Luna, because I chose to ignore the warning signs people were giving me.

Sure, relying on an internet message board for relationship advice may be fucked up, but if anything, we have a mixed bag of varied experiences here. You already had your heart ripped out once, and we feel like you're setting yourself up to do it again.

You're not going to want to read this, in fact, you'll probably ignore this or just tell me "thanks, but no thanks" and that's fine, but don't be surprised at the "I told you so's" that may come in the future.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Actually, you know what? No.

As previously mentioned, I don't think anyone here actually hates you. We're openly criticizing your choices with your best interests in mind. How much shit did PD give me during my post-divorce insanity? The shitty boyfriends I had...the lessons I had to fucking learn with that. Did I want to hear it then? FUCK NO. I wanted my happy, but with that pretend happy came a world of shit. I wasn't ready, and the board saw it. This resulted in me having tearful phone calls with Roger, and pouring all my emotional bullshit in person on Richter and Luna, because I chose to ignore the warning signs people were giving me.

Sure, relying on an internet message board for relationship advice may be fucked up, but if anything, we have a mixed bag of varied experiences here. You already had your heart ripped out once, and we feel like you're setting yourself up to do it again.

You're not going to want to read this, in fact, you'll probably ignore this or just tell me "thanks, but no thanks" and that's fine, but don't be surprised at the "I told you so's" that may come in the future.

Do not listen, RWHN.  Go for it.

TGRR,
Would like to point out that the second line of text in Suu's post is factually incorrect.

[AFK]

Actually, you know what? No.

As previously mentioned, I don't think anyone here actually hates you. We're openly criticizing your choices with your best interests in mind. How much shit did PD give me during my post-divorce insanity? The shitty boyfriends I had...the lessons I had to fucking learn with that. Did I want to hear it then? FUCK NO. I wanted my happy, but with that pretend happy came a world of shit. I wasn't ready, and the board saw it. This resulted in me having tearful phone calls with Roger, and pouring all my emotional bullshit in person on Richter and Luna, because I chose to ignore the warning signs people were giving me.

Sure, relying on an internet message board for relationship advice may be fucked up, but if anything, we have a mixed bag of varied experiences here. You already had your heart ripped out once, and we feel like you're setting yourself up to do it again.

You're not going to want to read this, in fact, you'll probably ignore this or just tell me "thanks, but no thanks" and that's fine, but don't be surprised at the "I told you so's" that may come in the future.

See, though, the difference here is that the advice y'all are giving me is based solely on arbitrary numbers based in arbitrary social conventions.  In fact I didn't have my "heart ripped out" when my previous marriage ended.  Did I have a period of angst and negative feelings?  Absolutely, at the dissolution of the family.  But I had known, really, for years that my marriage was a bit of a sham.  We had Little WHN 9 months after the wedding.  (you do the math).  Our entire married life revolved around being parents.  Along the way, there were many clues that the romantic aspect of that marriage kind of died early on in the marriage.  Romantically, we were on different pages and wanted different things.  She is much more casual in relationships.  I am a hardcore romantic.  Her getting fired and having a mid-life crisis when she turned 36 just served to be the last straw and finally blew it up.  So when we officially separated a year ago, it was done.  I mean, done, done.  The divorce was an academic, legal exercise. 


I was 12 years younger, in only my late 20s when I had made that decision to propose and marry ex WHN.  12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 


I'm sorry but your experiences are your experiences, and not appropriate for comparing to mine, or anyone else's for that matter.  Numbers are just numbers.  I would hope this to be a concept understandable by Discordians.


This Discordian sees the multiple paths available, and with a very clear heart and mind, is taking this one without an ounce of hesitation.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I appreciate the concern.  Sorry for calling you "assface" and for being belligerent with you. 

It would be completely arbitrary and academic to wait a certain number of months to propose.  That is just an arbitrary life-game that doesn't consider individual situations.  In addition I would point out that I waited for almost two years before proposing to ex-Mrs WHN and look how that turned out.

Nothing is going to be different a year from now so, for me, it seems silly to wait a year just because that's what everyone else does.

Well it was an inaccurate comparison. My cheeks arent that robust and my mouth is more akin to a sideways vulva what with the general shape and beard. But whatever man is all good. 
I think your mindnumbingly wrong on a few things sure. One of which is that you think that sooner is no different than later. But the damage is done even if you agreed with what suu pent and i are saying. But i would delay the wedding another six months or so if you can manage it.
Weddings seem all romantic and stuff but really theyre expensive rituals attached to essentially signing a contract. You dont need to marry your chick in order to have a satisfying relationship or even to fertilize those last few eggs if thats what you want. Never hurts to wait unless one of you is terminally ill.
Anyway now that im not an assface did you watch that video?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 

This is the horrormirthiest thing I've read this year.   

[Suu]

12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 

This is the horrormirthiest thing I've read this year.   

I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up several times already, too.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 

This is the horrormirthiest thing I've read this year.   

I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up several times already, too.

No, the fact that he's treating it as a job position to be filled.  Resumes.  Vetting.  It's awesome, and it's completely full of 21st century goodness.

[Suu]

12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 

This is the horrormirthiest thing I've read this year.   

I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up several times already, too.

No, the fact that he's treating it as a job position to be filled.  Resumes.  Vetting.  It's awesome, and it's completely full of 21st century goodness.

He's hiring a replacement.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 

This is the horrormirthiest thing I've read this year.   

I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up several times already, too.

No, the fact that he's treating it as a job position to be filled.  Resumes.  Vetting.  It's awesome, and it's completely full of 21st century goodness.

He's hiring a replacement.

Well, employees are fungible, these days.   If he's smart, he'll bring her on as a temp.  If things don't work out, he can just chuck her in the dumpster and call the agency for a replacement.

[Suu]

12 years later, two kids later, a new career later....at 38, I know pretty well what I want in life, and who I want travelling with me down those different paths.  Her resume is pretty much perfect.  The vetting on either side has been pretty comprehensive. 

This is the horrormirthiest thing I've read this year.   

I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up several times already, too.

No, the fact that he's treating it as a job position to be filled.  Resumes.  Vetting.  It's awesome, and it's completely full of 21st century goodness.

He's hiring a replacement.

Well, employees are fungible, these days.   If he's smart, he'll bring her on as a temp.  If things don't work out, he can just chuck her in the dumpster and call the agency for a replacement.

Because everybody knows that there's a line of well qualified and fully vetted individuals just WAITING for this position, should the current candidate fail.