People who don't like children

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I never hated my childhood. I had a good one. I hated parts of it DURING the matter, but that was because I was an overdramatic teenager. I just have had no real desire to have children since I was about...7-8? I decided pretty early on.

What I also can't stand are the people who constantly question my motives for not wanting kids. Nigel is not doing this, she already said some people just don't want them, but when I have friends and family STILL telling me "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and "It's different when they're your own!" or "Don't you want a kid to carry on your husband/boyfriend's last name?" I just think that's fucking petty a hell. Do not try to change my mind based on this ancient idea that women should reproduce for their husbands. Some of us just want to have a good career that may involve travel and research, and cannot be bogged down by having children. They just aren't for me, and don't fit my proposed lifestyle. This is when people call me "selfish" that I don't want to reproduce and "share my life" with kids, and I usually tell them to fuck off. There's tons of wonderful parents in this world. I just can't see myself being one of them.

I have, however, resigned to the fact that I will be that "awesome crazy aunt."

I hate that sort of thing. It would be even more selfish to have children knowing that it's not a good idea for the child.

[Suu]

I never hated my childhood. I had a good one. I hated parts of it DURING the matter, but that was because I was an overdramatic teenager. I just have had no real desire to have children since I was about...7-8? I decided pretty early on.

What I also can't stand are the people who constantly question my motives for not wanting kids. Nigel is not doing this, she already said some people just don't want them, but when I have friends and family STILL telling me "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and "It's different when they're your own!" or "Don't you want a kid to carry on your husband/boyfriend's last name?" I just think that's fucking petty a hell. Do not try to change my mind based on this ancient idea that women should reproduce for their husbands. Some of us just want to have a good career that may involve travel and research, and cannot be bogged down by having children. They just aren't for me, and don't fit my proposed lifestyle. This is when people call me "selfish" that I don't want to reproduce and "share my life" with kids, and I usually tell them to fuck off. There's tons of wonderful parents in this world. I just can't see myself being one of them.

I have, however, resigned to the fact that I will be that "awesome crazy aunt."

I hate that sort of thing. It would be even more selfish to have children knowing that it's not a good idea for the child.

My mom told me YEARS ago that not everyone should be parents, and it was okay for me to not want any.  I'm 31, my brother is 28, and my sister is 25, and my parents still have no grandchildren. They are perfectly happy with this, despite pressure from my surviving grandmother that they should be pushing for it.

Pushing for your own kids to have kids for the sake of earning a title? No way. It'll happen when it happens. And if it happens while Gramma is alive, then she's a Great Grandmother, if not, well, shit happens.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I never hated my childhood. I had a good one. I hated parts of it DURING the matter, but that was because I was an overdramatic teenager. I just have had no real desire to have children since I was about...7-8? I decided pretty early on.

What I also can't stand are the people who constantly question my motives for not wanting kids. Nigel is not doing this, she already said some people just don't want them, but when I have friends and family STILL telling me "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and "It's different when they're your own!" or "Don't you want a kid to carry on your husband/boyfriend's last name?" I just think that's fucking petty a hell. Do not try to change my mind based on this ancient idea that women should reproduce for their husbands. Some of us just want to have a good career that may involve travel and research, and cannot be bogged down by having children. They just aren't for me, and don't fit my proposed lifestyle. This is when people call me "selfish" that I don't want to reproduce and "share my life" with kids, and I usually tell them to fuck off. There's tons of wonderful parents in this world. I just can't see myself being one of them.

I have, however, resigned to the fact that I will be that "awesome crazy aunt."

Not to bring up a sore point, but when I first found PD I thought you were trying to conceive, but gave up after a rash of miscarriages? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Am I thinking of someone else?

[Suu]

I never hated my childhood. I had a good one. I hated parts of it DURING the matter, but that was because I was an overdramatic teenager. I just have had no real desire to have children since I was about...7-8? I decided pretty early on.

What I also can't stand are the people who constantly question my motives for not wanting kids. Nigel is not doing this, she already said some people just don't want them, but when I have friends and family STILL telling me "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and "It's different when they're your own!" or "Don't you want a kid to carry on your husband/boyfriend's last name?" I just think that's fucking petty a hell. Do not try to change my mind based on this ancient idea that women should reproduce for their husbands. Some of us just want to have a good career that may involve travel and research, and cannot be bogged down by having children. They just aren't for me, and don't fit my proposed lifestyle. This is when people call me "selfish" that I don't want to reproduce and "share my life" with kids, and I usually tell them to fuck off. There's tons of wonderful parents in this world. I just can't see myself being one of them.

I have, however, resigned to the fact that I will be that "awesome crazy aunt."

Not to bring up a sore point, but when I first found PD I thought you were trying to conceive, but gave up after a rash of miscarriages? 

I did miscarry twice, but they were both early term and from unplanned pregnancies due to my pill at the time failing, and caused a great deal of issues with my marriage at the time because he thought I was doing it on purpose (trust me ladies, you don't want to do this "on purpose".)

I've never actually tried to conceive, so that may be a confusion with someone else.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I never hated my childhood. I had a good one. I hated parts of it DURING the matter, but that was because I was an overdramatic teenager. I just have had no real desire to have children since I was about...7-8? I decided pretty early on.

What I also can't stand are the people who constantly question my motives for not wanting kids. Nigel is not doing this, she already said some people just don't want them, but when I have friends and family STILL telling me "Oh, you'll change your mind!" and "It's different when they're your own!" or "Don't you want a kid to carry on your husband/boyfriend's last name?" I just think that's fucking petty a hell. Do not try to change my mind based on this ancient idea that women should reproduce for their husbands. Some of us just want to have a good career that may involve travel and research, and cannot be bogged down by having children. They just aren't for me, and don't fit my proposed lifestyle. This is when people call me "selfish" that I don't want to reproduce and "share my life" with kids, and I usually tell them to fuck off. There's tons of wonderful parents in this world. I just can't see myself being one of them.

I have, however, resigned to the fact that I will be that "awesome crazy aunt."

Not to bring up a sore point, but when I first found PD I thought you were trying to conceive, but gave up after a rash of miscarriages? 

I did miscarry twice, but they were both early term and from unplanned pregnancies due to my pill at the time failing, and caused a great deal of issues with my marriage at the time because he thought I was doing it on purpose (trust me ladies, you don't want to do this "on purpose".)

I've never actually tried to conceive, so that may be a confusion with someone else.

Ahhh gotcha

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Getting back to the OP, I think you ARE onto something, Nigel. I noticed something weird about people who actively loathe cats (not apathy, or mild dislike, or people who prefer dogs, but the people who are always yammering about how they "CAN'T STAND fucking cats") - IME, they don't seem to like people they can't control, either. I've always wondered if nonsensical strong aversions in general point to something else, and I think the child angle is definitely worth looking into.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Getting back to the OP, I think you ARE onto something, Nigel. I noticed something weird about people who actively loathe cats (not apathy, or mild dislike, or people who prefer dogs, but the people who are always yammering about how they "CAN'T STAND fucking cats") - IME, they don't seem to like people they can't control, either. I've always wondered if nonsensical strong aversions in general point to something else, and I think the child angle is definitely worth looking into.

There's got to be something else going on. I mean, sure, in a small percentage of cases it could simply be a random, irrational phobia (but most phobias have a rational root) but in general it has to be indicative of some other pathology.

I don't get hating cats, either. I sometimes say I don't like cate, but what I really mean by that is that I would rather not have pet cats because their litterboxes are gross and they pee on things. As individual living creatures, though, I don't hold anything against them, and I like animals in general.

There are people who will kill cats if they have a chance. That's fucking weird.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I really enjoyed being a kid, to the point where a significant part of my teenage blargh was related to the awareness that I was leaving that space and desperately wanting to hold on anyway. As would be expected based on the OP theory, I think kids are awesome and have trouble with teenagers.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I like my kids. Other people's kids annoy the shit out of me. Not because I hate them. In fact when I think of "children" I think of innocence, potential, the future, probably all the general things that children represent. There's nothing more upsetting to me emotionally than a person who harms children physically or emotionally. There's nothing I've ever done in my life that I'm more ashamed of than the times when I lose my patience and say something mean to my kids. And I tend to count every child I see in that same sort of "hands off these small people, asshole" category. But they still annoy the shit out of me, mostly because they are raised by idiots who don't know how to raise a child without instilling their own prejudices into them.

I have no idea what (if anything) this has to do with my own childhood. I don't actually remember a whole lot of the time I spent being a child. I don't know if this is normal or not, but my memory of that time is limited to a number of specific self-contained events and circumstances years apart and not too numerous to count on my fingers.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I don't mind kids, actually quite enjoy some of them, just like with adults you get good ones and shitty ones but, for the most part, they're fun little people. But babies...

I don't mind admitting. Babies creep me the fuck out. No shit, they're fucking weird and creepy and like little fucking aliens or something. I find it hard to even associate them with being human at times. I mean them no harm but please, keep them the fuck away from me until they can at least walk and, preferably, talk a little.

[Suu]

I don't mind kids, actually quite enjoy some of them, just like with adults you get good ones and shitty ones but, for the most part, they're fun little people. But babies...

I don't mind admitting. Babies creep me the fuck out. No shit, they're fucking weird and creepy and like little fucking aliens or something. I find it hard to even associate them with being human at times. I mean them no harm but please, keep them the fuck away from me until they can at least walk and, preferably, talk a little.

Babies are intimidating. They're small, delicate, and tend to look like Winston Churchill for the first couple of months. I will openly admit to having a fear of holding babies. AND THEY BLOW BOOGER BUBBLES OUT OF THEIR NOSES!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Babies are scary. And also, not very entertaining. Nonetheless, I can spend hours holding and staring at them, and sniffing their heads and kissing their LITTLE FEET OMG

But that's largely because I've had three of my own and they make my hormones go.

I think it's very normal for people who have not had children or spent much time around them to be pretty intimidated by babies.

[AFK]

Babies aren't entertaining?  Really?  My kids were both hilariously cute when they were babies. 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Babies under three months aren't really people. Once they can start to interact it gets better.