i tried this with bananas once... apparently bananas cause constipation :(
CRAM IT CRAM.
ORANGES? MORE LIKE BORANGES!
YOU CAN MOUTH MOLEST ALL THE SCREMAING FRUIT YOU LIKE. CRAM AS MANY OF THOSE YIELDING PATHIC LIE DOWN TO GET FUCKED FRANCE-STYLE PARADISE FRUITS AS YOU LIKE. WON'T CHANGE A THING. MY POOP IS STRONGEST. I'VE TAKEN 3 DUMPS TODAY. STONE COLD SOLID FUCKERS. EVERY BIT OF PLANT MATTER FOR 3 FURLONGS HAS WITHERED, AND SMALL CHILDREN ARE SOBBING FOR NO REASON.
SIMPEL FACT: YOUR ASS IS GONNA GET BLOWN OPEN LIKE PEELED SLICED MONKY SNACKS. YOUR SPHINCTER IS GONNA REMIND PEOPLE OF A MERCATOR PROJECTION.
(http://www.thehighcalling.org/images/Library/Large/Message_00289.jpg)
WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY TYPING WITH SUCH A TINY NAMBY PAMBY PREPUBESCENT DICK THAT THE WORDS COME OUT IN A FONT TOO SMALL TO READ.
:aaa:
NOT ANYMOAR!
\
(http://www.recomendocomcerveja.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/honda.jpg)
ALL RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS, ITS TIME FOR THE TRUE CITRUS EATING CHAMP TO SHOVE HER COCKFIST UP YOUR ASSHOLES WITH MOTHERFUCKING ORANGE POWER. SO Y'ALL BETTER BEWARE, FREEKY TAKES NO PRISONERS.
orange # 7 was like eating a wrecking ball
I can actually feel my stomach lining....
(http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af205/spiff_bucket/cramobey.jpg)
I just burped pure acid.
...I'm wondering if going for number 9 is actually a good idea or not. Fuck.
CRAM YOU DAMNULUS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!!??!
NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...IN THE CAN!
NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9...IN THE CAN!
If you have any complaints about the condition of you GI tract Thursday I will point and laugh.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
It started out
as a fart.
and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.
I can't believe it ---
--- I actually just crapped my pants!
--- at work
on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
I just burped stomach acid again.
Ooooff....
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
It started out
as a fart.
and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.
I can't believe it ---
--- I actually just crapped my pants!
--- at work
on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
I just burped stomach acid again.
Ooooff....
Tums.
Seriously. Your espohagus is going to look like a WWI battlefield.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
It started out
as a fart.
and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.
I can't believe it ---
--- I actually just crapped my pants!
--- at work
on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
He better not!
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.
...And uh...does coffee count?
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.
...And uh...does coffee count?
No! You have to eat other food too!
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.
...And uh...does coffee count?
No! You have to eat other food too!
There's no rule about this!
PROFESSOR!!11111111111
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.
...And uh...does coffee count?
No! You have to eat other food too!
There's no rule about this!
PROFESSOR!!11111111111
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.
...And uh...does coffee count?
No! You have to eat other food too!
There's no rule about this!
PROFESSOR!!11111111111
Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed. :lol:
I don't think I can do 10. I got 9 down, but 10 is pushing it.
...And uh...does coffee count?
No! You have to eat other food too!
There's no rule about this!
PROFESSOR!!11111111111
Professor Cramulus seems to be, ah, indisposed. :lol:
:cry:
(http://www.ic-gallery.com/albums/userpics/10783/emo-oranges~0.jpg)
I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU SIMPERING JIZZWIT FUCKS TO AN ORANGE EATING CONTEST
YOU'RE ALL ABOUT TO GET SCHOOLED, CRAMULUS STYLE
AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT I STAGGERED DOWNSTAIRS AND STARTED TRASH TALKING MY ROOM MATE. I WAS LIKE, "I BET I CAN EAT MORE ORANGES THAN YOU IN A DAY."
HE WAS LIKE, "ARE WE TALKING ABOUT EATING A SICKENING AMOUNT OF ORANGES FOR NO REASON AT ALL?"
I WAS LIKE, "HELL YES THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU FUCKING ASS TURBAN. I'M GOING TO EAT SO MANY ORANGES I'LL PISS TANG ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING GRAVE."
HE WAS LIKE "IT'S ON!!!!" AND I SHAT JIZZ EVERYWHERE LIKE THERE WAS A FIRE HOSE COMING OUT OF MY ASS AND THOROUGHLY SATISFYING YOUR MOTHER. SEXUALLY.
SO THIS MORNING ON THE WAY TO WORK I BOUGHT A BAG OF GODDAMN ORANGES. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GIANT SPINNING TURDS WHO DOES NOT TAKE UP THE CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE ENTERED INTO THE LEDGER OF PEOPLE WHOSE EYE SOCKETS I'M GOING TO ROMANCE WITH MY ELBOW WHILE I PLAY THE MEXICAN HAT DANCE ON YOUR LAME ASS FAIL BALLS.IT'S ON
If I eat ten, do I win?
okay okay okay okay okay
it was more of a "skidmark" shart than a hiroshimic trumpeting.
I came home, showered, put on fresh pants with no poop in 'em.
My stomach has ceased its open rebellion but I'm going to take a little break and let it calm down before I continue to poison myself. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!
btw... coffe + citric acid = :x
I need to know something... are you guys eating full-on Navel oranges, or those little Valencias?
okay okay okay okay okay
it was more of a "skidmark" shart than a hiroshimic trumpeting.
I came home, showered, put on fresh pants with no poop in 'em.
My stomach has ceased its open rebellion but I'm going to take a little break and let it calm down before I continue to poison myself. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!
btw... coffe + citric acid = :x
This is awe-inspiring raw stupidity in the name of SCIENCE! (and gluttony)
I was going to buy a box from Corner Fruit Guy, but he wasn't there. Why is he never there on the days I want his fruit?
Oh. My. Fucking. God.:potd: Post of the mother-fucking century right there. :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
It started out
as a fart.
and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.
I can't believe it ---
--- I actually just crapped my pants!
--- at work
on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
I am so fucking annoyed that I had ZERO opportunity to buy any oranges today! FUCK not having a car.I came home with a bag of motherfucking kiwifruit and sat down to read this.
At least I managed to retain bowel control. (Important)
It is to me. (Although I have a rather watery stool myself this morning) Woken by gut cramps, rather than shit the bed, I crawled off to squirt half my bodywieght into the shitpot. Got a feeling it's not over yet too.At least I managed to retain bowel control. (Important)
Not important.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
It started out
as a fart.
and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.
I can't believe it ---
--- I actually just crapped my pants!
--- at work
on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!
GUESS WHAT GUYS I HAD TWO MOTHERFUCKING GLASSES OF ORANGE JUICE WITH BREAKFAST THIS MORNING THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ON COCKKNOCKING GRANNYFARTS! IMMA OPEN A CAN OF TROPICANA ON YOUR CAUTERIZED ASSHOLES AND WHEN I'M DONE YOU'RE GONNA BE SO DAMN BEAT THAT YO UNCLE GON SELL YOU TO A TWELVE-ARMED CENTAUR ORANGUTAN AND SHIT ROCKS ON YOUR FACE WITH A GLOBE WHILE CRYING AND PISSING HIMSELF IN SHAME
GUESS WHAT GUYS I HAD TWO MOTHERFUCKING GLASSES OF ORANGE JUICE WITH BREAKFAST THIS MORNING THAT'S RIGHT IT'S ON COCKKNOCKING GRANNYFARTS! IMMA OPEN A CAN OF TROPICANA ON YOUR CAUTERIZED ASSHOLES AND WHEN I'M DONE YOU'RE GONNA BE SO DAMN BEAT THAT YO UNCLE GON SELL YOU TO A TWELVE-ARMED CENTAUR ORANGUTAN AND SHIT ROCKS ON YOUR FACE WITH A GLOBE WHILE CRYING AND PISSING HIMSELF IN SHAME
I think the oranges need to be eaten rather than imbibed.
Also, how large of a glass?
What's the pulp content like?
What's the pulp content like?
Low pulp, I admit. But I had an actual orange just now.
THIS THREAD AMG I AM AT WORK AND WILL DIE LAUGHING
I am getting a bag of oranges and bringing them home. I once ate half a large grocery bag full of satsumas in a day. Any citrus from then on tasted metallic and bitter until the lining in my mouth (and stomach) had a chance to heal. Good golly miss molly I shat like a flaming crude hurricane.
Get ready for GLORIOUS BATTLE once I'm safe at home with my materials. By materials I mean oranges.
How many did Nigel get down? I'm not going to skip lunch, but I've been eating a lot of heavy food recently (spaghetti sauce and sushi mmm) so a citric acid reverse-enema may be a good idea.
Good idea. Yeah.
Oh it will. Soon as I remember how to post teh pics on that thar Photobucket contraption and then use that dadgum HTML thingamajig to slap em on here.
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat. Or soiled myself.Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
What's the pulp content like?
Low pulp, I admit. But I had an actual orange just now.
Yeah, I think you'd need actual oranges. Low-pulp OJ isn't going to test your intestinal fortitude on a level that Cram had to deal with.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat. Or soiled myself.Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
And if I had, I would never have come straight out with it.
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"
(10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps 10oz)
but, you actually did give birth to a 'Little Orange', right?...
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat. Or soiled myself.Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
And if I had, I would never have come straight out with it.
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"
(10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps 10oz)
Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine
Tangerines and Clementines are actually both variants of the Mandarin Orange, but seperate, and distinctly different. And Tangerines have been known to get bigger than Oranges too, so :spluff:If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat. Or soiled myself.Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
And if I had, I would never have come straight out with it.
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"
(10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps 10oz)
Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine
Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
Why would you do that? lol
I eat an orange on average, every 6 months.
If I had 22 Oranges, then I would have done it with them, and still not broken a sweat. Or soiled myself.Yeah, but they were Tangerines. Butyou win, hands down, because you got the most relevant results!
Tangerines! PAH! Tangerines ARE NO ORANGES, CHEATER!!!
Also, I have, in my time, been known to eat two boxes... that's ten pounds, about 40 of the little fuckers... of tangerines in a single day.
And if I had, I would never have come straight out with it.
"Hey everyone, you'll never guess what happened to me at work today!"
"Go on, . . . have a guess!"
(10lbs, 40 tangerines? I think you must mean Clementines, or maybe Kumqats. Or perhaps 10oz)
Clementines ARE tangerines, motherfucker! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangerine
Nope, they're a variant of the Mandarin Orange. It says so right there that they are a "popular alternative" to tangerines. :)
-Suu
[ / pedantic moment of the day]
Also...GOOD GOD MY BOWELS!
That's worse than a whole episode of 'Sex in the City'!
The incoherent shouting in this thread reminds me of a chat we had last year...That's worse than a whole season of 'Sex in the City'! (And the movies too)
15:11 [000]: CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE
15:26 Malachite: ANAL CUNT
15:27 Atrum_Monachus: FROZEN DICKVOMIT SANDWICH
15:40 Cain: Zyklon B fucknipple
15:47 Atrum_Monachus: You should nEver freeze one of those.
16:06 Atrum_Monachus: RUins the texture.
16:34 D-Squid: That's what makes it offensive.
16:38 Malachite: VOMITING JOSEF MENGELE DICKS
18:07 Atrum_Monachus: DRIPPING L RON HUBBARD ANAL LEAKAGE FART SAUCE TOMATO NIPPLE.
19:02 Malachite: (????)? Butts.
27:52 [000]: jewish glandular infection
32:12 Eve: my back won't stop twitching. :\
36:00 Lilith_Complex: Oh GODS if this headache gets any worse I'm going to start shooting morphine into my eyeball.
39:58 [000]: I HAVE CRAMMED FROM CRUSTY ANAL PAPERCUT LUNCH MUNCH MOUTH GURGLE GAG PLUMBING FECAL SUFFOCATION
40:24 [000]: (CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMELL)
45:28 Cramulus: ANAL?
49:54 [000]: ANAL!
50:02 Atrum_Monachus: FIST
51:51 [000]: (FESTERING PUSS MAGGOT ITCH GANGRENE SUSPENSION)
52:24 Cramulus: Dong piss monkey scab twat waffle
52:41 Cramulus: dicks, dicks.... dicks and pus.
53:27 Cramulus: ballsweat tube tubesock lube cockamamey turd potato
54:43 [000]: PERIODICAL OCULAR RUSTY NAIL INSERTION
55:16 Cramulus: MINNIE MOUSE HOT POTATO PICK A BLOUSE WINNABAGO
02:38 [000]: (PERPETUAL PENIS PERFORATOR)
04:49 Cramulus: dicks dicks dicks twatnugget ball day
10:16 Payne: STFU, TRIP
10:20 Payne: I WILL END YOU
10:28 The Dark Monk: THEN START YOU AGAIN
10:31 The Dark Monk: WITH HIS PENIS.
10:43 Harlequin: I love it when he does that
10:44 Payne: MY PENIS HAS MUCH TORQUE
10:49 Payne: IT COULD BE DONE
16:07 Cramulus: WHY IF IT ISN'T A JIZZPARTY IN HERE
16:09 [000]: SCAT SCOOPING SCAB CHEWING CHAFED PRICKLY POTATOE PEELER PECK PECK PECK PECK PAIN
16:35 Cramulus: DICKS BALLS INSIPID CUM JUGGLER
16:41 Payne: CRAM
16:44 Payne: LET'S DUEL
16:49 Cramulus: UR ON
16:50 Eve: CRAM
16:53 Cramulus: Eve
16:58 Payne: I ROLL 18 on a D20
17:01 Malachite: OH GOD ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO IRCRP
17:06 Malachite: IT'S WORSE THAN LARPING
17:18 Cramulus: I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD DILDO
17:32 Payne: I DON MY MOTHERFUCKIN MESSIAH GEAR
17:41 Cramulus: MONKEY PISS ANAL SCAB DICK SHIT DICK PARADE DICK DICK GRANDMA DICK
17:44 Payne: PWNED
17:56 Payne: DIE
18:04 Cramulus: I TAKE OFFENSE AT YOUR VIBRATING THROAT MUSCLES TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THEIR CUM CHARM
18:05 Payne: [19:17] <@Payne> I ROLL 18 on a D20
18:18 Cramulus: INCONTINENT DICK WOBBLERS
18:31 Payne: CRAM, I RAM MY GOLF CLUB DOON YER THROAT
18:34 Cramulus: JAM IT IN YOUR HOCKEY MASK
18:37 Payne: SPAG
18:44 Cramulus: AND BY THAT I MEAN YOUR LUKEWARM CUM CARAVAN
18:46 [000]: I ROLE NINE D20S!!!!!!!!!
18:46 Payne: A'LL PIT YER HEID IN
18:52 Cramulus: I ROLL BLUNTS
19:00 [000]: FUCK YOU CRAM THATS HOW I ROLL
19:12 Cramulus: I TAKE YOUR PENIS AND WOBBLE IT
19:24 [000]: I CAST LEveL 27 SCROTAL DANDRUFF
19:41 [000]: ROLL A WILLY SAVE
19:46 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU ANAL MORMONS I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR CANINE PENIS CHICANERY
19:55 Cramulus: HAIL DICKS
20:11 Cramulus: DICK CUNT SCALLIWAG PISS TURBAN ASS BRAIN DICK REAR ASSULT MUCUS MEMBRANE
20:12 Payne: CRAM, IF I HAD WD40, I'D TOTALLY GREASE YOU UP, MOTHERFUCKER
20:24 Cramulus: IF I HAD 2D10 I'D ROLL PERCENTILE UP YOUR ASS
20:29 Payne: FEEL THE Payne
21:04 Cramulus: FEEL THIS YOU JIZZ COW: MY COCK VEIN RESONATING WITH YOUR COLON CANER AND I RAM MY OVIPOSITOR INTO YOUR BELLY BUTTON
21:12 Cramulus: BA-BAM
21:33 Cramulus: BEHIND YOUR BACK ALL YOUR RELATIVES CALL YOU ANAL PIE
21:39 Cramulus has changed the topic to: SWEARING
22:01 Cramulus: I SHIT COCKS THAT PISS BALS
22:38 Payne: CRAMULOID, IF ONLY I HAD EARLY 20th CENTURY DOCTORS WHO WOULD LANCE YOUR SORRY ASS
22:39 [000]: YOUR PRESUMPTUOUS PRENATAL PRANCING PROTO POOP POSES POOR PRACTICAL PUNISHMENT\
23:25 Cramulus: DICK LORDS: STOP JIZZING FOR TEN SECONDS AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A SHITBRICK SHORT OF AN ASS FULL OF SHINOLA
24:14 [000]: THE PUSS--THAT INFECTS THE MUCUS--THAT CRUDS UP THE FUNGUS--THAT FEEDS ON THE POND SCUM
24:40 Payne: CRAM COPULATES COPIOUS CUNTS, CANING CANINE CRAP COLLISEUMS. CORPULENCE CARES CEASELESSLY.
24:43 Cramulus: I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT
25:24 Payne: "[19:25] <+Cramulus> I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOURMOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT" :POTD:
25:33 Cramulus: MY NEIGHBOR HASN'T SEEN SO MUCH DICK TAR SINCE THE SPERM FLOOD OF 89
26:18 Cramulus: HE SAID, WOAH NELLY, I'M GOING TO BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH SO HARD IT'LL GIVE YOUR KIDS A CONCUSSION
26:37 Cramulus: WHERE IN FACT, IT'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE A CONCUSSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.
27:22 [000]: DICK TAR ANT HONEY FIRE BURNING STINGING ITCH LICE PENIS
27:40 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU INSIPID JIZZ PANDA I'VE HAD ENOUGH PISS TALK FROM YOUR RECTAL COLLEGE AND SIMPERING TURD BAGEL FRIENDS. SO INSTEAD OF PISSING OFF, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SIT IN IT AND COPULATE?
28:30 Cramulus: I'M TEN TIMES THE PISS PIRATE YOU COULD EveR BE, AND THREE TIMES THE DICKS. I CAN'T EveN LOOK AT THIS SHIT ANYMORE, THE STINK WAVES ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SHITTING LIQUID SCABS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL REPORT CARD
28:33 Cramulus: WHAT
28:50 Cramulus: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU PECKISH ANAL LEPRECHAUN?
28:59 Cramulus: LISTEN I'VE SEEN WILLOW AND YOU SUCKED ASS IN IT
29:34 Cramulus: I'LL CALL YOU - A THROAT GOBBLER. TO YOUR FACE!
29:38 Cramulus: SIT ON IT
29:40 Cramulus: IN FACT
29:44 Cramulus: SHIT ON IT
29:50 Payne: CRAM
30:05 Payne: WHEN I MEET YOU, EXPECT A BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE FACE
30:06 Cramulus: SHIT FUCK DAMN
30:17 Payne: ARSE RAIDING MUNCHEN
30:43 Cramulus: WHEN I VODKA YOU, EXPECT TO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SHIT LIKE AN ANAL TODDLER WITH NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HE GOT BOTH HIS FISTS LODGED IN YOUR PUSTULOUS ASS
30:43 Payne: I HATE YOU SO HARD, THE WHITES OF MY EYES ARE PINK FROM BURST BLOOD VESSELS
31:03 Payne: CRAM, I'LL ASS FUCK YOU, WITH MY WHOLE LEG
31:15 Payne: WITHOUT LUBE
31:16 Idem: GUYS THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING
31:23 Idem: KEEP IT DOWN
31:24 Cramulus: I HATE YOU LIKE A CHILD HATES GETTING PISTOL WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH BUT THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR TALKING SHIT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LOUUURRRDE
31:29 Payne: CAUSE THATS HOW I ENJOY MY ASS FUCKIN
31:54 Cramulus: IF YOU'LL QUIT GARGLING JIZZ FOR JUST A FUCKING SECOND YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU ARE DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM
32:00 Payne: FUCK YOUR LORD CRAM, HE CRIED WHEN I INSERTED MY GREAT WHITE PALADIN INTO HIS ANUS
32:31 Payne: HE SHOUTED THIS IS MY BODY THIS IS MY BLOOD, BUT I JUST LAUGHED
32:36 Cramulus: THERE AREN'T FONT TAGS BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR PREGNANT ASS
32:51 Idem: FUCK YOU BOTH
32:58 Cramulus: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT ROTUND OR YOUR LEGS ARE PREGNANT
33:10 Payne: CRAM, THERE AREN'T ANY PROGRAMS THAT YOU COULD RECOMEND THAT WOULD CONTAIN YOUR EGO
33:20 Payne: STUCK UP EGOTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER
33:29 Cramulus: IN EITHER CASE, LET ME RECCOMMEND AN ABORTION DOCTOR: MY FIST, A COAT HANGER, AND A BOTTLE OF VODKA. WE'LL MAKE A ROMANTIC EveNING OUT OF IT
33:30 Payne: I LIKE ANAKIN SKYWALKER MORE THAN YOU
34:09 Payne: FUCK CRAM, MAKE THAT WHICKEY, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A FRIDAY NIGHT OUT IN SUACHIEHALL
34:15 Cramulus: I'D RATHER DIE IN A BURNING BUS WRECK WHERE ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS ARE CLONES OF THE HOMELESS GUY WHO KEEPS EYE FUCKING ME THAN SPEND ONE MORE GODDAMN SECOND SMELLING YOUR LOUSY CUNT
34:46 Payne: CRAM, I SHAT OUT A MASSIVE LOG OF FECAL MATTER TODAY, IT HAD YOUR FACE
34:48 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE THE JIZZ PARADE, BUT INSTEAD OF CELEBRATING, EveRYBODY GETS AIDS
35:00 Payne: SO I SET IT ON FIRE BEFORE I FLUSHED
35:08 Cramulus: I'M GONNA BREAK MY FIST OFF IN YOUR COLON
35:20 Payne: FUCK YEA, SUCKER PUNCH THOSE WORMS
35:31 Payne: CHRIST KNOWS I NEED IT
35:52 Cramulus: IN FACT, I'M GONNA GET A PET TAPE WORM AND NAME IT STUPID PIECE OF CUM-SHIT BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF YOU
36:49 Cramulus: YOU THINK I'M NOT SERIOUS? I WILL PERSONALLY CLIMB DOWN OFF THIS BUILDING AND STRETCH YOUR JAWS AROUND YOUR OWN ASS AND MAKE YOU TAKE A DUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
36:50 Payne: CRAM, I MEASURED THE DISTANCE TO THE PUB IN CRAMS, EXCEPT IN THE VERNACULAR I CALLED THEM DISTANCES BETWEEN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF COG SHIT
37:51 Cramulus: THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN
37:59 Cramulus: IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
38:14 Cramulus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SWEAR FOR ELEveN MINUTES NOWWWWWWW
39:43 Cramulus: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU
40:46 Harlequin: DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING COME DOWN AND SHOVE COAXIAL SOUND CABLES INTO YOUR ASS AND THEN PLAY AC/DC SO FUCKING LOUD YOUR FUCKING ANUS WILL STAR DANCING AND EJECT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AND THREE DAYS AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS
41:56 Cramulus: JESUS CHRIST I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SIMPERING SHITTALK PISSBALLS
42:19 Cramulus: I'M RELOADING RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING PUT ON A HELMET AND TAKE A SHIT
42:26 Cainad: FOUL LANGUAGE
42:36 Malachite: <+Cramulus> SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU <--- this is the best insult/threat I have heard in a while
43:05 Harlequin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK DOWN MOTHER FUCKER OR I'LL ROLL UP NEW SCIENTIST AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH SCIENCE EXCEPT IT WILL BE SCIENCE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD AND VOMIT AND SHIT
43:13 Cramulus: WHAT
43:41 Cramulus: I WILL WRAP YOU HEAD TO TOE IN DUCT TAPE AND PUT SNAKES IN YOUR INTESTINES THAT EAT YOUR SHIT SO WHEN YOU SHIT YOU SHIT SNAKES FULL OF SHIT
44:09 Harlequin: Well I find that just in bad taste
44:20 Cramulus: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
44:30 Cainad: ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE SLIMY DOLPHIN BALLS UP BEFORE I FORCE CANDIRU FISH INTO EveRY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES AND LIGHT YOUR FACE ON FIRE
45:08 Cramulus: YOU'RE A SODA DRINKING DANDRUFF SORTER WITH A BLACKLIGHT SENSITIVE ANAL BRAIN WITH ASS CHEEKS FOR LOBES
46:01 Cramulus: I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF YOUR INTRACTABLE MENTAL JIZZ OLYMPICS
46:47 Cramulus: BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AWARD YOU THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A SPECIAL-ED PISS POLYP
46:52 Cainad: YEAH WELL YOU'RE A SIDEWALK-SNIFFING ALCOHOLIC WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CONSTIPATION
47:20 Harlequin: YOUR SPAGMOSEXUAL ANTICS MAKE FUCKING RETARDED CROMAGNONS LOOK LIKE FREAKING UNIVERSITY GRADUATES FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF AWESOME-VILL THAT HAS A POLICY OF FUCKIGN ABORTING COCK-SUCKERS LIKE YOU IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER
48:01 Cainad: ALSO YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR DETRITUS-BASED ANAL PLAY DURING THE FUNERAL'S OF BELOVED GRANDMOTHERS
48:16 Cainad: FUNERALS, EveN
48:53 Cramulus: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN FIRE OUT OF YOUR FACE-ASS? I'VE PISSED IN THE SNOW AND IT WAS A TONY-AWARD WINNING NOVELLA COMPARED WITH THE SORT OF GUTTERPUNK VERBAL CANCER YOU LEAK LIKE AN OVERRIPE PUSTULE FULL OF CUM
49:23 Harlequin: I SPY JIZZ-MONKEYS OFF THE STARBOARD BOW AND THEY'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING NAME ON THEM. AND THEY SHARE YOUR LEveL OF STUPIDITY HENCE WHY THEY APPLY A SINGLE NAME TO A THE BUNCH OF THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SINGLUAR AND PLURAL BECAUSE THEY'RE THAT FUCKIGN RETARDED. LIKE YOU
49:37 Cramulus: JESUS
49:57 Cramulus: I NEED MORE COFFEE
50:58 Cainad: YOUR SUCH AN ARROGANT BUTTJUICE CHUGGER THAT YOU PROBABLY DON'T EveN NOTICE THAT YOUR PUS-FILLED EYEBALLS EXPLODED ALL OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IN FACT YOU PROBABLY FED IT TO YOUR DOG AND THEN DROPPED IT OUR THE WINDOW YOU ZIT-JUGGLING FUCKFACE
51:13 FAAAARK: sup cuntnuggets
51:14 Cramulus: fuck
51:15 Cainad: AND CALLED IT "ART"
51:32 Idem: my favorite one was "THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN"
51:47 Cramulus: SHIT COCK RECHARGING
52:05 Cainad: EAR JIZZ ANTICS
52:51 P3nt4gr4m: what I really wanted from this place was crystal meth and a blowjob but I'll settle for tourettes
52:59 Cramulus: JESUS IT'S FUCKING P3NT
53:33 Cramulus: THAT IS TO SAY - JESUS SOME TOTAL MORON HAS JACKED PENT'S ACCOUNT AND NOW HE'S SAYING THE DUMBEST SHIT AN IDIOT COULD IMAGINE
55:48 Cramulus: I'LL GIVE YOU WOOD. I'LL RAM MY COCKKNOB RIGHT IN YOUR EYE UNTIL YOU BURST INTO TEARS BUT INSTEAD OF TEARS ITS HIGHLY ACIDIC URINE THAT EATS YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK AND SOME CUNT IS LIKE MOMMY MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN HAVE SOME SORT OF RENAL DEFECT? AND HER MOM WILL SAY NO SWEETHEART, HE'S JUST A FAT, JITTERY, LOATHSOME PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN'T TELL HIS OWN FACE FROM A MOUNTAIN OF TODDLER TURDS THAT PEDOS
57:33 P3nt4gr4m: CRAM I RAMMED BOTH MY FISTS AND HALF MY FOOT IN YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE LAST NIGHT AND THEN SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO WORK OUT WHICH HOLE WAS WHICH SHE UNLOADED THE MOTHER OF ALL FOLLOW THROUGHS RIGHT IN MY FACE.
57:41 P3nt4gr4m: i GOT CHARGED EXTRA FOR THAT
57:41 Cramulus: ANAL SWEAT SHIT DICKS FUCK SHIT URINE PISS FUCK DRIPPINGS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE SOME KIND OF ANAL RACE
59:16 P3nt4gr4m: BABY ASS RAPE
59:25 Cramulus: IT TOOK ME 18 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT UP WITH YOUR VERBAL AIDS YOU DICK TURBAN
59:28 ***Cramulus breathing heavily
59:37 Cramulus: can't.... stop... fuck....
00:17 P3nt4gr4m: WHY NOT TRY FUCKING YOURSELF IN THE WINDPIPE WITH A LENGTH OF ROTTING HORSE COCK
01:00 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT A WHOLE CANOE FULL OF MORMON MEN ALL JACKING EACH OTHER OFF
01:15 P3nt4gr4m: POUR SOME BLEACH DOWN IT TO SIMULATE SPOOGE
01:43 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU DIE TEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN I'LL FIST YOUR WIFE ON YOUR GRAVE
01:46 Cramulus: AND SHE'LL SHIT
02:11 P3nt4gr4m: SUPERGLUE YOUR EYES TO A BABIES NIPPLES THEN JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND SEE WHICH COMES OFF FIRST
02:24 Astantia: whoa
02:29 P3nt4gr4m: SRSLY
02:42 Cramulus: FIRST YOU FIGURE THIS OUT: WHAT HAS MORE KNUCKLES - YOUR MOM'S HAIRY ASS FEET, OR YOUR COLON WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU?
02:57 Cainad: I THINK YOU REALLY OUGHT TO SLIDE BARE-ASSED DOWN A PALM TREE COVERED IN FERRET LYMPH NODES SO THAT I CAN THEN REMOVE YOUR DESTROYED ANUS AND SELL IT ON EBAY SO THEN I'LL HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY AN ELECTRIC EEL TO SHOVE UP YOUR URETHRA
02:58 Cramulus: HINT: YOUR MOTHER LOST A FOOT TO DIABETES AND IS A SMELLY CUNT
03:17 P3nt4gr4m: MY MOMS ASS DOESN'T HAVE FEET - THAT'S YOUR INBRED FUCKING SIUSTER YOURE THINKING ABOUT
03:23 Cramulus: SHIT
03:54 Cramulus: MY INBRED SISTER IS A SAINT AND YOU'RE A CARTOON CHARACTER DOING HARD TIME FOR DICKS
04:35 P3nt4gr4m: ONE MOAR REMARK THAT THAT AND i'LL GIVE YOU A CHAINSAW ENEMA THEN FILL THE CARNAGE FULL OF SEMOLINA AND GET A RETARD TO LICK IT OUT
04:45 Cainad: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS PASTRIES MADE OUT OF SCROTUMS
05:07 P3nt4gr4m: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS ANYONE WHO GIVES HER A COOKIE
06:23 P3nt4gr4m: TALK ABOUT BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
06:41 P3nt4gr4m: JUST WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY YOU TRYING TO SAY THERE JIZZGARGLER?
06:57 Cramulus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
06:59 Cramulus: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
07:15 Cramulus: YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID NIPPLEDICK IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY BLOOD OUT OF MY ASS
07:33 Cramulus: OR JIZZ TEARS OF SORROW INTO THAT DISGUSTING CRAP YOU MADE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
07:37 Cramulus: EITHER WAY, FUCK YOU
08:14 P3nt4gr4m: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DONKEYPUNCH MY OWN GRANDMA TILL HER HAIR FALLS OUT THEN MAKE A DILDO OUT OF THE HAIR AND SET FIRE TO IT BEFORE RAMMING IT UP YOUR URETHRA
09:20 P3nt4gr4m: HOLY FUCK
09:33 P3nt4gr4m: ARE YOU HAVING SOME KINDA EMBOLISM OR SOMETHING?
10:01 Cramulus: I DON'T KNOW!!!
10:16 Cramulus: THIS IS KILLLLLLLLLING MEEEEEEEE
10:30 Cramulus: IT SEEMS I CAN'T STOP SWEARING
10:41 Cramulus: EveRY TIME I THINK IT'S GOING TO END, I READ SOMETHING YOU SAID AND IT SETS ME OFF AGAIN
11:04 P3nt4gr4m: COS i'M SETTING UP A WESITE WHERE WE INDUCE EMBOLISMS IN VISRGINS, JUST AT THE POINT OF THEIR FIRST ORGASM AND THEN FILM WEASELS, LICKING THE BLOOD OUT THE EARS BEFORE WE FUCK THE WEASELS SO HARD THEY SPLODEY THEN WE RUB THE BITS INTO THE DEAD VIRGIN'S ASSHOLE AAND SET FIRE TO IT
11:13 P3nt4gr4m: YOU ARE A VIRGIN RIGHT?
11:16 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY-TRIP TO THE RETARD ZOO, BUT EveRYBODY'S A CLONE OF YOUR WORTHLESS JIZZ-SCULPTURE-FACE
11:24 Cramulus: SHIT
12:17 P3nt4gr4m: WE'RE CALLING THE SITE WWW.ARISTOCRATS.COM
13:00 P3nt4gr4m: ANYWAY - I JUST WANTED TO DROP BY TO SAY FUCK YUO
13:09 P3nt4gr4m: AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY
13:19 Cramulus: EAT DICKS X100
13:30 Cainad: CRAM YOUR COPROLALIA IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE. YOUR IMMATURE AND QUITE CLEARLY FURRY-EROTIC DESIRE TO PUKE YOUR MENTAL RENAL FAILURE IS A CANCER THAT GIVES EveRYONE UNDESCENDED TESTICLES
13:33 Cramulus: THIS IS ALL [000]
13:34 Cramulus: ALL HIS FAULT
Pics or it didn't happen.
I can't believe this is the first time in the thread this has been requested.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I can't believe this is the first time in the thread this has been requested.
So far I believe Cram and Nigel are truthing.
I think I did see a pic of Nigels sack of roanges somewhere.
On number THREE! WOO! Every tiny open scrape on my skin is now throbbing with pain. XD
Zyzyx, shirtless in his room listening to Nightwish and eating an entire bowl of oranges.
OH SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK MY ASS AGGGH
:x :x :x :x :x :x
The beer combined with the oranges has given me prodigious quantities of gas beyond my previously-estimated capabilities - it BURRRRNS AGH
Such marks the end of all Dionysian revels - wishing someone would pull your arms off and get it over with. At least back in the day your cult-buddies would be only too happy to oblige, even eating you afterwards so you don't go to waste!
Don't get any ideas people. >_>
About to pass out so I'm going to eat one then go to town on the rest in the morning.
Nine is my final count before my intestinal system forms a goth band solely for the express purpose of bitching about me.
I failed miserably at my first attempt, but soon I'll get a job and acquire me some oranges(I ate the only one left in the fridge), and when that happens I'm challenging all my friends.
Thanks, PD!
I failed miserably at my first attempt, but soon I'll get a job and acquire me some oranges(I ate the only one left in the fridge), and when that happens I'm challenging all my friends.
Thanks, PD!
:lulz:
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
Well, it's either that or olympic wango tango.
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.
This. I'm starting to get all giddy inside. I feel like I'm bubbling over with girlish glee.
Is this now the unofficial sport of PD.com?
It may as well be.
For some strange reason I'm compelled to give it a try.
This. I'm starting to get all giddy inside. I feel like I'm bubbling over with girlish glee.
yeah!
When I started this, here was the sequence of events:
1. Realization that I had eaten nothing but pizza for 2 days, and fast food for 2 days before that.
2. Roommate says, "You want to eat oranges until we puke?"
3. Laughing until I couldn't breathe
People kept asking me, WHY? And I had no fucking idea why I was doing it, just that it was something that nobody just does unless it's for a joke or a project or something. But there's always a good reason and I didn't have one. If there is a such thing as Free Will, I think this is how you demonstrate it.
Nothing a good shit won't take care of, my good man.
Nothing a good shit won't take care of, my good man.
Only if done in a timely fashion. Otherwise, well, the only remedy is the "pink glove".
my poops are just now starting to return to a normal color
still not "normal" yet
the effects of the oranges have worn off but I just drank 100 beers last night, so I've been expelling concentrated evil this morning
On days like this, I do more evil before 10 AM than most people do all week
the effects of the oranges have worn off but I just drank 100 beers last night, so I've been expelling concentrated evil this morning
On days like this, I do more evil before 10 AM than most people do all week
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.20 minutes is plenty long enough to get a good dose of Evil up and running. The memory loss is probably a protection thing, so you're not crippled with useless guilt. At what you might have done. Or didn't do. :D
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.
I wish I could be evil/awesome/wtf when under the influence/side effects of substances. To my knowledge it's only happened once, and I don't remember much of it. Apparently I ended up in a tree and lost at least 20 minutes of memory. Most of the time I just get really subdued, though.
Was that the time you had a LOT of caffeine?
YESTERDAY: I CRAPPED MY PANCE FOR SCIENCE
TODAY: I AM BEGINNING MY NEW "NO ORANGE" DIET
BUMP.
Those who took part, have you had many oranges since?
I haven't touched one since. Only a couple of orange juice mixers, with vodka. Semi fermented pulpy orange shit is unpleasant enough for my sphincter to itch still, at the thought of an orange. *Shifts uncomfortably* See?
hang on, I thought oranges were bananas until I saw the picturePineapples are far more effective instruments of torture than oranges and bananas combined. Painful on insertion, (I would imagine) and devastating on extraction. They should rename them "Goatseapples". :fap:
:s
Well I saw the word torture and I thought of banana ...
About to pass out so I'm going to eat one then go to town on the rest in the morning.
YOU
ARE
WEAK
Freeky sez Friday.
Freeky sez Friday.
Oh.
FRIDAY IT IS!
OH MY FUCKING GOD
AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN
NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
OH MY FUCKING GOD
AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN
NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
I don't really want to know do I?
I don't really want to know do I?
Read dis fread. Is epic.
I don't really want to know do I?
Read dis fread. Is epic.
Afraid to. Doesn't want to be tempted to blow my ass out and shit orange for a week.
I don't really want to know do I?
Read dis fread. Is epic.
Afraid to. Doesn't want to be tempted to blow my ass out and shit orange for a week.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN
NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
What was your record again?
OH MY FUCKING GOD
AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN
NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
What was your record again?
I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.
Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.
I love grapefruit
but if you eat too many, IT WILL BURN
Trust me on this one.
Besides being gross, this is the second annual PD Orange Eating Competitionthing FOR SCIENCE AND LULZ
Besides being gross, this is the second annual PD Orange Eating Competitionthing FOR SCIENCE AND LULZ
YESSSSSSSSSS
OH MY FUCKING GOD
AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN
NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
What was your record again?
I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.
Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.
I'M
raising this ante to grapefruit
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .
I did this last year... as I recall, it made me feel terrible for several days.
IT'S GO TIME!
Might I suggest stocking the bathroom with Tums, water, and fresh reading material now? Perhaps a bucket if you need to vomit whilst on the throne? Lots of baby wipes for your poor abused backsides . . .
I did this last year... as I recall, it made me feel terrible for several days.
IT'S GO TIME!
Yeah. Wasn't fun.
BUT IT WAS AWESOME.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
AS THE REIGNING CHAMPION OF THIS SHIT I AM FUCKING IN
NO ONE TAKES AWAY MY CROWN! NO ONE!
What was your record again?
I think I ate 12 full-size bigass fucking oranges, like honkin' navel motherfuckers, none of those little Valencias.
Yeah, I was fucked up for a few days. I gotta start training NOW if we start Friday. I think I can own this motherfucker.
Is there a specific type of orange that has to be consumed to count?
AND ONE MORE THING: WHEN I AM FINISHED, I WILL BLOW A MASSIVE FEMBOT JIZZLOAD INTO A 55 GALLON DRUM...AND THE PEOPLE WILL DRINK...AND THEY WILL CALL IT ORANGE JULIUS.
AND ONE MORE THING: WHEN I AM FINISHED, I WILL BLOW A MASSIVE FEMBOT JIZZLOAD INTO A 55 GALLON DRUM...AND THE PEOPLE WILL DRINK...AND THEY WILL CALL IT ORANGE JULIUS.
I think Navels are more of a December orange, so I might end up with Valencias as well, depending on what they have at the store
which I am putting off going to. Fuck, I hate grocery shopping, and I especially hate it when I have to get soda for my housemate. Using her food stamps. I do it because I'm nice, but there's something fucked up about buying soda with food stamps, it goes directly against my home economist grain.
no wonder you guys get hemorrhoids ...acid shitting contests :x
no wonder you guys get hemorrhoids ...acid shitting contests :x
Also, Navkat: :fap:
shit
damn
SWEET
MERCIFUL
FUCK I HAVEN'T EATEN AN ORANGE SINCE LAST JUNE.
and HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICAINE IN THE FLORIDA KEYS KNOCKING FRUIT OFF THE BRANCHES AND CRAMMING THEM IN MY FACE
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT. I'M GONNA HANDLE SOMETHING: YOUR FAILURE. I'LL HANDLE IT WELL. I'LL MANHANDLE IT UNTIL IT GETS A RESTRAINING ORDER. THEN I'LL RESTRAIN IT UNTIL IT GETS A FONDLING ORDER. THEN I'LL CATTLE-PROD YOU IN THE BALLS WHILE HUMMING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. THAT'S HOW GODDAMN SERIOUS I AM.
shit
damn
SWEET
MERCIFUL
FUCK I HAVEN'T EATEN AN ORANGE SINCE LAST JUNE.
and HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICAINE IN THE FLORIDA KEYS KNOCKING FRUIT OFF THE BRANCHES AND CRAMMING THEM IN MY FACE
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE IT. I'M GONNA HANDLE SOMETHING: YOUR FAILURE. I'LL HANDLE IT WELL. I'LL MANHANDLE IT UNTIL IT GETS A RESTRAINING ORDER. THEN I'LL RESTRAIN IT UNTIL IT GETS A FONDLING ORDER. THEN I'LL CATTLE-PROD YOU IN THE BALLS WHILE HUMMING "RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES" AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. THAT'S HOW GODDAMN SERIOUS I AM.
I go to buy mah oranges in a moment, how many am I gonna need to win this (was thinking two bag, about 16 valencias).
I'm on my way for a leisurely stroll to the store right now, to collect my oranges.
It's all about pacing.
I have to pack 'em in now because I'm going to a lab where I'll be handling toxic stuff for 3 hours today.
IT'S
GO
TIME!
I can't play this time around, oranges that size are 2 for a dollar here. :cry:
IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I'D SHOW YOU PANTY SNIFFERS WHAT'S UP!
I ATE A WHOLE BAG OF JELLY BEANS LAST NIGHT BEFORE NOTICING THE WARNING ON THE BAG THAT READ "excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect" SO MY GUTS ARE EMPTY!!
These Cara Cara oranges I bought are huge
:sad:
and have 175% of my daily intake of vitamin C - per orange
:eek:
So, not having read through the whole thread... why isn't this being done by weight as to level the playing field?
I'm not starting until later. I work better with deadline pressure.:lulz:
I'm not starting until later. I work better with deadline pressure.
I'm not starting until later. I work better with deadline pressure.
SIGMATIC, YOU COLLYMODDLING SOCKFUCKER! IF YOU'RE GONNA WAIt, YOU MAY AS WELL DO IT TOMORROW WHEN ROUND TWO HAPPENS, SO THAT I HAVE SOME COMPETITION. NOT THAT YOU'LL WIN ANYWAY.
I've an 8 am flight in the morning following a 2 hour drive to the airport when I get off work at 4.
I'm pretty sure this is a bad fucking idea. And I will lose.
One orange down. Craving chipotle.
pacing myself so as not to repeat last year's intestinal explosion.
Im at 6 and really sick to my stomach
I should have paced myself
Bullshit. If you hurl, you keep fucking going.Im at 6 and really sick to my stomach
I should have paced myself
Ruling? If you hurl, you're out?
Yeah... It seems that if you ate six oranges, then vomited up six oranges, and then kept eating fucking oranges, that would be pretty hardcore. Plus, it would lead to more vomiting.
I hereby invoke pics or it didn't god damn happen.
As I said, pics will happen when I figure the damned phone out (its the only camera I have).
Also 10.
ORANGE TWO: THOROUGHLY MASTICATED. THE CLOYING TANG OF RIND OIL HANGS IN THE AIR. I CAN SMELL THE FEAR IN THE BAG OF ORANGES. THEY KNOW WHAT COMES.
10? 10? Oh, shit, time for me to reload, muthafucka!
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
"Oh, I just ate another" ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
"Oh, I just ate another" ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.
I KNOW RIGHT? THESE TURD RACING ASSMONKEYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN VERBALLY. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. FUCK!
After this craziness I plan to go to McDonalds haven't been there in years)
FOUR DOWN. THIRTEEN TO GO. YOU FUCKS SHOULD JUST QUIT WHILE YOU HAVE AN ASS, AND SEND ME YOUR GODDAMNED ORANGES.
I NEED MORE BOMBAST FROM YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
"Oh, I just ate another" ISN'T GONNA FUCKING CUT IT.
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
I ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN ORANGES, ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE TO GO BUY THREE MORE???
I'm on #7
This one's DELICIOUS!
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS
I ONLY HAVE SIXTEEN ORANGES, ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE TO GO BUY THREE MORE???
FIVE*
*though I don't think Ill make 20.
I've finished 10 and Im dead inside.
:oops:
I'm on #7
This one's DELICIOUS!
I love it when they're extra delicious!
LOOK AT THESE DESPONDENT LITTLE SONS OF BITCHES
(http://i518.photobucket.com/albums/u346/heinous_simian/IMG_20110408_134631.jpg)
I HOPE YOU BROUGHT YOUR PONCHO FROM THE GHALLAGER SHOW, PUSSY.
SIX DOWN:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
SIGMATIC, WHAT THINGS ARE BEST IN LIFE?
TO EAT CITRUS, TO DOODLE ON THE PEELS, AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR ORCHARDS.
THIS IS THE SUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE
:argh!:
DAMN YOU ALL
MY BURBS HAVE HEARTBURN
CAINAD YOU ABSOLUTE HIPPO-DICKER. ONE MORE THAN I BOUGHT? FUCK YOUR SOCKS.
UNTIL I SEE A GOD DAMNED PICTURE OF 18 MOTHER FUCKING NAVEL ORANGES I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS HORSESHIT YOURE SELLING
(http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5108/5601581988_c32043d016.jpg)
^ That's right hosedicks, EIGHT MORE POUNDS OF ORANGES
YOU MUST BE MARRIED TO AN ORCHARD. WHERE IN THE UTERUS DID YOU GET ALL THOSE ORANGES?!
HAHAHA! YESSSSSSS
BACK IN THE GAME
I'M UNSTOPPABLE, MY FURY IS TANGERI-ER, TANGI- YOU CAN TASTE IT. YEAH!
I'MA BUY MORE FUCKING ORANGES IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO CAPSIZE YOUR DOUBLE-HULLED ASS ON THE HIGH SEAS OF FUCK YOU
EAT
UNTIL WE
DIE!!!!!
how come I no longer taste the oranges?
how come I no longer taste the oranges?The acid has finally destroyed your taste buds.
I dunno. I kinda like Macbething it. Y'know "Lay on Macduff! And damned be he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'"
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.
I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.
I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.
I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.
12 navels or 12 valencias?
I feel fine at the moment, just wondering when the Nuclear Assplosion is gonna actually happen. I have some pretty impressive ironguts, but I certainly don't expect them to handle this without something weird going on.
BLUEBERRIES? CHERRIES? WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT? I ASK YOU.
BLUEBERRIES? CHERRIES? WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT? I ASK YOU.
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.
I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.
12 navels or 12 valencias?
As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.
BLUEBERRIES? CHERRIES? WHERE IS THE STUPID IN THAT? I ASK YOU.
The stupid is that blueberries are like $5 a pint.
Alright, I just finished orange number twelve (LASTER YEAR'S RECORD: ACHIEVED!) and I STILL haven't shat.
I'ma go sit on the can for a bit and "squeeze", because this is mildly concerning to me.
12 navels or 12 valencias?
As far as I know, you are the only person eating Valencias.
Hmm, I need to catch up then, I'm only at 16 Vs.
This is why I'm not eating oranges. :lulz:I dunno. I kinda like Macbething it. Y'know "Lay on Macduff! And damned be he who first cries 'Hold! Enough!'"
"Soooo...Whatever happened to the Discordians?"
You and me both, sister. I did this shit last year. I did NOT know what I was getting into. 11 cara cara oranges? I should have been dead.
There will be bloating, soon, unless you get the runs.
You and me both, sister. I did this shit last year. I did NOT know what I was getting into. 11 cara cara oranges? I should have been dead.
Im 13 Cara Cara's... :sad:
I have to go to the washroom but Im scared
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.
They're twice the price of Navels HERE.
I got valencias because they were 4 lb. bags for 2 bucks.
Should do it earlier in the year then, my biggest motivators on Valencias is that they're a third the price of navels here and now.
They're twice the price of Navels HERE.
wtf?
I always thought they ripened in like December or something, but that must be the Florida ones.
The bathroom has a smell that would make a Nessie run away. Other than that I feel fine.
The bathroom has a smell that would make a Nessie run away. Other than that I feel fine.
A Nessie would just think you were a new flavor of ambulatory dinner.
Ooogh... I just finished my 11th. So, that's happy.
The remaining oranges are looking smug. They think they've beaten me.
They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.
No, we'll just wish we're dead. :lulz:Ooogh... I just finished my 11th. So, that's happy.
The remaining oranges are looking smug. They think they've beaten me.
They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.
You're all going to die.
Ooogh... I just finished my 11th. So, that's happy.
The remaining oranges are looking smug. They think they've beaten me.
They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.
You're all going to die.
15
I went to the washroom
wasn't horrifying and only burned a little
I feel it's going to be much much worse tomorrow then today
also to call this heart burn is understatement
the entire frontal body is burning...
Ooogh... I just finished my 11th. So, that's happy.
The remaining oranges are looking smug. They think they've beaten me.
They've never met anyone intent on eating a whole 8lb bag of oranges.
You're all going to die.
Eight...teen...
:cry:
Ok Im outPUUUUUSSSSSY. :lulz:
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...
fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's
The women have beaten me
:sad:
Ok Im out
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...
fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's
The women have beaten me
:sad:
But, hey, if you're going to destoy your colon, might as well, go for broke, right? :lulz:Ok Im out
I just ate number 16 and only have 1 left
but after learning Stella took out 18...
fuck
18 Navels
and Requia with 20 Valencia's
The women have beaten me
:sad:
And I've come out ahead of them.
Because my digestive tract isn't an ulcerated nightmare, and I will take a good, solid shit tonight.
On the plus side, I actually ate enough folate today. I can't wait to tell my doctor how I did it. :lulz:
I am considering withdrawing altogether. It's not as much fun when there isn't anyone else doing it.
Also, I used up all my large, captial letters today. :sad:
I am considering withdrawing altogether. It's not as much fun when there isn't anyone else doing it.
Also, I used up all my large, captial letters today. :sad:
There's always next year! And just consider... you managed to get countless people all over the fucking world to make themselves sick on oranges, and you didn't even eat ONE. :argh!:
On the plus side, I actually ate enough folate today. I can't wait to tell my doctor how I did it. :lulz:
We need a pic of his reaction when you tell him you just ate 20 oranges in one day.
15 and I still feel great. I got two more valencias in the meantime to replace the rotten one, so I can make it to 18. But Bob dammit now I have to BEAT 18?! Fuck my life.
I think that right now, Thurnez is in 2nd with 16 Cara Caras, and Cainad is in 3rd with 15 Navels.
I think that right now, Thurnez is in 2nd with 16 Cara Caras, and Cainad is in 3rd with 15 Navels.
Hell I'm not even in the running even with beating the old record am I. In that case go for it Nigel.
I don't think Stella is a fair contestant.
Her surname is precisely the sound that the human mouth makes when consuming an orange at a frightening speed.
For all we know, it signifies a long line of orange devourers.
the res had to call the plumber during his evening off..
when he gets here and asks whats wrong Im going to respond, "I ate nothing but oranges all day."
EFO says: "Seriously, I would pity you, but this... this is the stupidest thing ever."
the res had to call the plumber during his evening off..
when he gets here and asks whats wrong Im going to respond, "I ate nothing but oranges all day."
20
Fucking
Oranges
Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz
Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat
All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.
20
Fucking
Oranges
Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz
Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat
All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.
wow when they come out
that is going to burn
20
Fucking
Oranges
Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz
Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat
All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.
I think Cainad is on Valencias actually. He said something about them.
15 and I still feel great. I got two more valencias in the meantime to replace the rotten one, so I can make it to 18. But Bob dammit now I have to BEAT 18?! Fuck my life.
20
Fucking
Oranges
Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz
Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat
All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.
20
Fucking
Oranges
Eat my triumphant orange sherbet jizz
Oh my god fuck you all, I still haven't shat
All of these oranges are inside of me you fucks.
the burning in my stomach is gone, but the burning in my chest and ass remains
Lalalalala
I feel a little ill and I wish I could poop, but I'm soldiering on.
I went back to the store, you guys. This probably isn't a good idea.
I went back to the store, you guys. This probably isn't a good idea.
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason
or maybe some ham
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason
or maybe some ham
Skip the food. Start drinking Mylanta until you shit chalk. Your intestines might survive that way.
I really want a piece of bread and cheese for some reason
or maybe some ham
Skip the food. Start drinking Mylanta until you shit chalk. Your intestines might survive that way.
I don't have anything like that. Should I eat chalk?
EFO is playing Chariots of Fire for me.
Annnnnnnnnd.... final orange segment consumed!
I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22 :)
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself. :lulz:
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself. :lulz:
I am going to challenge YUO...at some time in the future to a battle of the bowels.
THIS is a good way to end the day; reading about people you convinced to do this to themselves, in some cases AGAIN, and have no more intention of doing that to yourself. :lulz:
I am going to challenge YUO...at some time in the future to a battle of the bowels.
I'm down with this, particularly if we can arrange it for when I don't have the monkey. IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!!
What were you thinking of eating? I would definitely do a tomato soup bomb competition. You haven't had tomato soup until you've had MY tomato soup, I'm afraid. Roger asked me not to make it this month because he's had beans all week, so he doesn't need to be farting garlic and onion.
Both :( and :lol:
Good for you. So have I. And a cake with fruit filling that was left out for several days.
Oh ho ho. Are you any good at cooking?
This requires the feat Food Finesse: You use time, cut, and taste to create the perfect dish. This feat replaces Flamed To Perfection in other feat prerequisitives.
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.:pax:
When I shit, it's going to be unspeakable. My farts smell like orange, and not in a good way.:pax:
NIGEL WINS FOREVER!!!
I think Nigel won a long time ago just on GP--lady went her ass back to the store. That kind of sphincterial integrity has got to count for something.
Annnnnnnnnd.... final orange segment consumed!
I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22 :)
NOW THE REAL FUN BEGINS, COCKMONGLERS.
I feel fine. :)
I'm going out for breakfast with my room mate
I'm going to wait to use the public toilet
just in case.
I don't know HOW, but I just shat pure stomach acid, AND I DIDN'T EVEN EAT ORANGES.
It burns when I pee
and I have the ability to turn the toilet water fluorescent yellow
My shit. It smells like oranges :horrormirth:
MY PARENTS HAVE INFORMED ME THAT I'LL BE BRINGING HOME AS MANY FRESH ORANGES FROM FLORIDA AS I CAN CARRY FOR CHRISTMAS.
YOU HEAR THAT FUCKERS?
FRESH.
LET'S SEE WHAT THE NEW YEAR BRINGS, SHALL WE?!
My doctor friend says "This seems like a bad idea".
I see that as MEDICAL ENDORSEMENT!
I kind of want in on this. And I don't even like oranges that much.
This honestly is continually the weirdest thing I've ever seen on these boards.
And the fact that you all do it as a semi-annual event makes me thankful to be alive to see it.
This honestly is continually the weirdest thing I've ever seen on these boards.
And the fact that you all do it as a semi-annual event makes me thankful to be alive to see it.
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW
THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER! GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW
THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER! GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.
OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW
THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER! GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.
OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.
You will GET OUT of that longhouse and you will GET IN that rowboat and you will ROW YOUR ASS to the local trading post, and you will GET SOME FUCKING ORANGES, for SHOVING IN YOUR FACE.
There are no excuses. There are only ORANGES or FAIL.
WHAT? TODAY? IT'LL HAFTA WAIT TILL TOMORROW
THERE IS NO TOMORROW, YOU LEDERHOSEN-WEARING FJORD HOPPER! GET THOSE FUCKING ORANGES DOWN YOUR THROAT.
OH SHIT. SOMEONE WHO DOES MAGIC MUST IMMEDIATELY RETROACTIVELY ENCHANT SOME ORANGES TO MY KITCHEN.
You will GET OUT of that longhouse and you will GET IN that rowboat and you will ROW YOUR ASS to the local trading post, and you will GET SOME FUCKING ORANGES, for SHOVING IN YOUR FACE.
There are no excuses. There are only ORANGES or FAIL.
NO FUCKING WAY! SEE FREEKY'S POST. I'M GOING TO STAY RIGHT HERE AND BE AN ARMCHAIR SOMETHING-OR-OTHER
Besides, it dark outside in Finland!
SLOW THE FUCK DOWN YOU MISERABLE JIZZ STAINS WHICH COVER THE FLOOR OF SOME BACKWOODS TITTY BAR WHERE MEN GO TO WATCH THEIR SISTERS DANCE. WAS THERE A FUCKING DATE POSTED? HELL FUCKING NO.
I BUMPED THIS SWEET FUCKING THREAD TO DISCUSS WHEN WOUD BE A GOOD TIME FOR EVERYONE. IT APPEARS THAT THIS IS EVEN TOO MUCH FOR YOUR BRAINS TO HANDLE, AND ITS A GOOD THING YOU GUYS AREN'T TOO STUPID TO EAT ORANGES OH WAIT.
:lulz: That is probably my favorite part of OEC, the shouting and belligerence.
one
(http://blog.holist.hu/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/orange.jpg)
two
(http://blog.holist.hu/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/no_orange.jpg)
fuck yeah
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
Bitches don't know about our oranges.
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year. CROWN = UP FOR GRABS
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year. CROWN = UP FOR GRABS
WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS
:cramstipated:
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year. CROWN = UP FOR GRABS
WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS
:cramstipated:
But YOU'D rather settle for booze, like a PEDESTRIAN. A NON-ORANGE CROWN WEARING PEASANT.
ONE OF THE VITAMIN C DEFICIENT HOI POLLOI.
BTW, I heard Nigel isn't eating this year. CROWN = UP FOR GRABS
WHAT?? SHIT MERCIFUL FUCK
THE CROWN IS UP FOR GRABS
:cramstipated:
LISTEN I CAN'T DO THIS SHIT AT WORK AND I NEED HELP PEELING DUE TO CARPEL TUNNEL. fuck that. i have a knife.
I'M EXERCISING MY PEELIN THUMBS IN AN EFFORT TO
KICK YOUR ASS
HOWEVER I NEED TIME. A DAY IN WHICH I AM NOT WORKING.
PERHAPS 2 WEEKS.
WHO KNOWS!?
What I meant to say is..
WHAT?! FLORIDIANS ARE NOT AFRAID OF FUCKING ORANGES YOU DESERT RAT!!
I COULD DO TWO WEEKS ON A FRIDAY
I COULD DO TWO WEEKS ON A FRIDAY
Podcast night.
I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
i am serious
also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
i am serious
also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.
ONE OF THE VITAMIN C DEFICIENT HOI POLLOI.
IT DOESN'T COUNT IF YOU JUST PUT A DROP OF ORANGE JUICE IN YOUR INFLATABLE PADDLING POOL AND SLOSH AROUND IN IT, YOU COCKCHEWING JIZZMITE.I suppose you think we're not serious about stuffing real oranges in our faces until we puke.
i am serious
also, i am a heavyweight contender in the surviving on oranges alone stakes with a personal record of 10 days
YOU'VE ACTUALLY GOT TO INGEST THE ENTIRE ORANGE.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY
IN ADDITION,
UP YOURS
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
OK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
:crankey:
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
:crankey:
;)
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
:crankey:
;)
God show chap.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
:crankey:
;)
God show chap.
IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME? A PERSON TO PERFORM CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNNERY UPON? :argh!:
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
You're taller than my mom and my 28 year old sister. Still shorter than me though (and Bruce Dickinson, and maybe Dani Filth) :pOK YOU MOTHERCUNTING ASSPAGGOTS! I HAVE 6 KILOS OF ORANGES AND I AM READY.
I don't think I've ever seen a spag become a spag so smoothly and quickly as this spag right here.
He didn't become a spag; he was BORN a spag.
I think in his case he was bjorn a spag. ;)
:crankey:
;)
God show chap.
IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME? A PERSON TO PERFORM CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNNERY UPON? :argh!:
No, you're from belgianland, and there are no real people from there.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
Smaller people than I.
I'm 5'2" and 118 lbs. We're tiny.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
I have never competed in the orange eating contest because i refuse to bow to peer pressure.
Also, because you're TIIIIIIIINY.
Most of the oranges are bigger than you.
Smaller people than I.
I'm 5'2" and 118 lbs. We're tiny.
I am 5ft3.5in I am NOT tiny. There are smaller people than me. Fully growed adults.
Enjoy your pain, turdmonglers! I'll be sitting here, not stuffing my dumb face with FUCKING ORANGES.
The incoherent shouting in this thread reminds me of a chat we had last year...
15:11 [000]: CHOLERA SPRAY HOSE
15:26 Malachite: ANAL CUNT
15:27 Atrum_Monachus: FROZEN DICKVOMIT SANDWICH
15:40 Cain: Zyklon B fucknipple
15:47 Atrum_Monachus: You should nEver freeze one of those.
16:06 Atrum_Monachus: RUins the texture.
16:34 D-Squid: That's what makes it offensive.
16:38 Malachite: VOMITING JOSEF MENGELE DICKS
18:07 Atrum_Monachus: DRIPPING L RON HUBBARD ANAL LEAKAGE FART SAUCE TOMATO NIPPLE.
19:02 Malachite: (????)? Butts.
27:52 [000]: jewish glandular infection
32:12 Eve: my back won't stop twitching. :\
36:00 Lilith_Complex: Oh GODS if this headache gets any worse I'm going to start shooting morphine into my eyeball.
39:58 [000]: I HAVE CRAMMED FROM CRUSTY ANAL PAPERCUT LUNCH MUNCH MOUTH GURGLE GAG PLUMBING FECAL SUFFOCATION
40:24 [000]: (CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMELL)
45:28 Cramulus: ANAL?
49:54 [000]: ANAL!
50:02 Atrum_Monachus: FIST
51:51 [000]: (FESTERING PUSS MAGGOT ITCH GANGRENE SUSPENSION)
52:24 Cramulus: Dong piss monkey scab twat waffle
52:41 Cramulus: dicks, dicks.... dicks and pus.
53:27 Cramulus: ballsweat tube tubesock lube cockamamey turd potato
54:43 [000]: PERIODICAL OCULAR RUSTY NAIL INSERTION
55:16 Cramulus: MINNIE MOUSE HOT POTATO PICK A BLOUSE WINNABAGO
02:38 [000]: (PERPETUAL PENIS PERFORATOR)
04:49 Cramulus: dicks dicks dicks twatnugget ball day
10:16 Payne: STFU, TRIP
10:20 Payne: I WILL END YOU
10:28 The Dark Monk: THEN START YOU AGAIN
10:31 The Dark Monk: WITH HIS PENIS.
10:43 Harlequin: I love it when he does that
10:44 Payne: MY PENIS HAS MUCH TORQUE
10:49 Payne: IT COULD BE DONE
16:07 Cramulus: WHY IF IT ISN'T A JIZZPARTY IN HERE
16:09 [000]: SCAT SCOOPING SCAB CHEWING CHAFED PRICKLY POTATOE PEELER PECK PECK PECK PECK PAIN
16:35 Cramulus: DICKS BALLS INSIPID CUM JUGGLER
16:41 Payne: CRAM
16:44 Payne: LET'S DUEL
16:49 Cramulus: UR ON
16:50 Eve: CRAM
16:53 Cramulus: Eve
16:58 Payne: I ROLL 18 on a D20
17:01 Malachite: OH GOD ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO IRCRP
17:06 Malachite: IT'S WORSE THAN LARPING
17:18 Cramulus: I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD DILDO
17:32 Payne: I DON MY MOTHERFUCKIN MESSIAH GEAR
17:41 Cramulus: MONKEY PISS ANAL SCAB DICK SHIT DICK PARADE DICK DICK GRANDMA DICK
17:44 Payne: PWNED
17:56 Payne: DIE
18:04 Cramulus: I TAKE OFFENSE AT YOUR VIBRATING THROAT MUSCLES TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH THEIR CUM CHARM
18:05 Payne: [19:17] <@Payne> I ROLL 18 on a D20
18:18 Cramulus: INCONTINENT DICK WOBBLERS
18:31 Payne: CRAM, I RAM MY GOLF CLUB DOON YER THROAT
18:34 Cramulus: JAM IT IN YOUR HOCKEY MASK
18:37 Payne: SPAG
18:44 Cramulus: AND BY THAT I MEAN YOUR LUKEWARM CUM CARAVAN
18:46 [000]: I ROLE NINE D20S!!!!!!!!!
18:46 Payne: A'LL PIT YER HEID IN
18:52 Cramulus: I ROLL BLUNTS
19:00 [000]: FUCK YOU CRAM THATS HOW I ROLL
19:12 Cramulus: I TAKE YOUR PENIS AND WOBBLE IT
19:24 [000]: I CAST LEveL 27 SCROTAL DANDRUFF
19:41 [000]: ROLL A WILLY SAVE
19:46 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU ANAL MORMONS I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR CANINE PENIS CHICANERY
19:55 Cramulus: HAIL DICKS
20:11 Cramulus: DICK CUNT SCALLIWAG PISS TURBAN ASS BRAIN DICK REAR ASSULT MUCUS MEMBRANE
20:12 Payne: CRAM, IF I HAD WD40, I'D TOTALLY GREASE YOU UP, MOTHERFUCKER
20:24 Cramulus: IF I HAD 2D10 I'D ROLL PERCENTILE UP YOUR ASS
20:29 Payne: FEEL THE Payne
21:04 Cramulus: FEEL THIS YOU JIZZ COW: MY COCK VEIN RESONATING WITH YOUR COLON CANER AND I RAM MY OVIPOSITOR INTO YOUR BELLY BUTTON
21:12 Cramulus: BA-BAM
21:33 Cramulus: BEHIND YOUR BACK ALL YOUR RELATIVES CALL YOU ANAL PIE
21:39 Cramulus has changed the topic to: SWEARING
22:01 Cramulus: I SHIT COCKS THAT PISS BALS
22:38 Payne: CRAMULOID, IF ONLY I HAD EARLY 20th CENTURY DOCTORS WHO WOULD LANCE YOUR SORRY ASS
22:39 [000]: YOUR PRESUMPTUOUS PRENATAL PRANCING PROTO POOP POSES POOR PRACTICAL PUNISHMENT\
23:25 Cramulus: DICK LORDS: STOP JIZZING FOR TEN SECONDS AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A SHITBRICK SHORT OF AN ASS FULL OF SHINOLA
24:14 [000]: THE PUSS--THAT INFECTS THE MUCUS--THAT CRUDS UP THE FUNGUS--THAT FEEDS ON THE POND SCUM
24:40 Payne: CRAM COPULATES COPIOUS CUNTS, CANING CANINE CRAP COLLISEUMS. CORPULENCE CARES CEASELESSLY.
24:43 Cramulus: I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT
25:24 Payne: "[19:25] <+Cramulus> I'M GOING TO POUR AN ENTIRE GALLON OF CANOLA OIL INTO YOURMOTHER'S BEDROOM AND TELL HER IT'S YOUR DAD'S GOLDEN WINE. SURE ENOUGH, SHE STARTS LICKING IT UP LIKE A CRACK PIPE ON PROM NIGHT" :POTD:
25:33 Cramulus: MY NEIGHBOR HASN'T SEEN SO MUCH DICK TAR SINCE THE SPERM FLOOD OF 89
26:18 Cramulus: HE SAID, WOAH NELLY, I'M GOING TO BLOW SHIT OUT OF MY MOUTH SO HARD IT'LL GIVE YOUR KIDS A CONCUSSION
26:37 Cramulus: WHERE IN FACT, IT'LL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE A CONCUSSION. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.
27:22 [000]: DICK TAR ANT HONEY FIRE BURNING STINGING ITCH LICE PENIS
27:40 Cramulus: LISTEN YOU INSIPID JIZZ PANDA I'VE HAD ENOUGH PISS TALK FROM YOUR RECTAL COLLEGE AND SIMPERING TURD BAGEL FRIENDS. SO INSTEAD OF PISSING OFF, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING SIT IN IT AND COPULATE?
28:30 Cramulus: I'M TEN TIMES THE PISS PIRATE YOU COULD EveR BE, AND THREE TIMES THE DICKS. I CAN'T EveN LOOK AT THIS SHIT ANYMORE, THE STINK WAVES ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF ME SHITTING LIQUID SCABS ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL REPORT CARD
28:33 Cramulus: WHAT
28:50 Cramulus: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT YOU PECKISH ANAL LEPRECHAUN?
28:59 Cramulus: LISTEN I'VE SEEN WILLOW AND YOU SUCKED ASS IN IT
29:34 Cramulus: I'LL CALL YOU - A THROAT GOBBLER. TO YOUR FACE!
29:38 Cramulus: SIT ON IT
29:40 Cramulus: IN FACT
29:44 Cramulus: SHIT ON IT
29:50 Payne: CRAM
30:05 Payne: WHEN I MEET YOU, EXPECT A BOTTLE OF VODKA IN THE FACE
30:06 Cramulus: SHIT FUCK DAMN
30:17 Payne: ARSE RAIDING MUNCHEN
30:43 Cramulus: WHEN I VODKA YOU, EXPECT TO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN SHIT LIKE AN ANAL TODDLER WITH NO FUCKING CLUE HOW HE GOT BOTH HIS FISTS LODGED IN YOUR PUSTULOUS ASS
30:43 Payne: I HATE YOU SO HARD, THE WHITES OF MY EYES ARE PINK FROM BURST BLOOD VESSELS
31:03 Payne: CRAM, I'LL ASS FUCK YOU, WITH MY WHOLE LEG
31:15 Payne: WITHOUT LUBE
31:16 Idem: GUYS THIS IS A BUSINESS MEETING
31:23 Idem: KEEP IT DOWN
31:24 Cramulus: I HATE YOU LIKE A CHILD HATES GETTING PISTOL WHIPPED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH BUT THAT'LL TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR TALKING SHIT IN THE HOUSE OF THE LOUUURRRDE
31:29 Payne: CAUSE THATS HOW I ENJOY MY ASS FUCKIN
31:54 Cramulus: IF YOU'LL QUIT GARGLING JIZZ FOR JUST A FUCKING SECOND YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU ARE DAMAGING MY SELF ESTEEM
32:00 Payne: FUCK YOUR LORD CRAM, HE CRIED WHEN I INSERTED MY GREAT WHITE PALADIN INTO HIS ANUS
32:31 Payne: HE SHOUTED THIS IS MY BODY THIS IS MY BLOOD, BUT I JUST LAUGHED
32:36 Cramulus: THERE AREN'T FONT TAGS BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOUR PREGNANT ASS
32:51 Idem: FUCK YOU BOTH
32:58 Cramulus: I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY THAT ROTUND OR YOUR LEGS ARE PREGNANT
33:10 Payne: CRAM, THERE AREN'T ANY PROGRAMS THAT YOU COULD RECOMEND THAT WOULD CONTAIN YOUR EGO
33:20 Payne: STUCK UP EGOTISTIC MOTHERFUCKER
33:29 Cramulus: IN EITHER CASE, LET ME RECCOMMEND AN ABORTION DOCTOR: MY FIST, A COAT HANGER, AND A BOTTLE OF VODKA. WE'LL MAKE A ROMANTIC EveNING OUT OF IT
33:30 Payne: I LIKE ANAKIN SKYWALKER MORE THAN YOU
34:09 Payne: FUCK CRAM, MAKE THAT WHICKEY, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A FRIDAY NIGHT OUT IN SUACHIEHALL
34:15 Cramulus: I'D RATHER DIE IN A BURNING BUS WRECK WHERE ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS ARE CLONES OF THE HOMELESS GUY WHO KEEPS EYE FUCKING ME THAN SPEND ONE MORE GODDAMN SECOND SMELLING YOUR LOUSY CUNT
34:46 Payne: CRAM, I SHAT OUT A MASSIVE LOG OF FECAL MATTER TODAY, IT HAD YOUR FACE
34:48 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE THE JIZZ PARADE, BUT INSTEAD OF CELEBRATING, EveRYBODY GETS AIDS
35:00 Payne: SO I SET IT ON FIRE BEFORE I FLUSHED
35:08 Cramulus: I'M GONNA BREAK MY FIST OFF IN YOUR COLON
35:20 Payne: FUCK YEA, SUCKER PUNCH THOSE WORMS
35:31 Payne: CHRIST KNOWS I NEED IT
35:52 Cramulus: IN FACT, I'M GONNA GET A PET TAPE WORM AND NAME IT STUPID PIECE OF CUM-SHIT BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF YOU
36:49 Cramulus: YOU THINK I'M NOT SERIOUS? I WILL PERSONALLY CLIMB DOWN OFF THIS BUILDING AND STRETCH YOUR JAWS AROUND YOUR OWN ASS AND MAKE YOU TAKE A DUMP RIGHT INTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS
36:50 Payne: CRAM, I MEASURED THE DISTANCE TO THE PUB IN CRAMS, EXCEPT IN THE VERNACULAR I CALLED THEM DISTANCES BETWEEN TIGHTLY COILED PILES OF COG SHIT
37:51 Cramulus: THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN
37:59 Cramulus: IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
38:14 Cramulus: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT SWEAR FOR ELEveN MINUTES NOWWWWWWW
39:43 Cramulus: SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU
40:46 Harlequin: DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING COME DOWN AND SHOVE COAXIAL SOUND CABLES INTO YOUR ASS AND THEN PLAY AC/DC SO FUCKING LOUD YOUR FUCKING ANUS WILL STAR DANCING AND EJECT ALL THE FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU'VE BEEN HOARDING FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS AND NINE MONTHS AND THREE DAYS AND FORTY-FIVE SECONDS
41:56 Cramulus: JESUS CHRIST I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SIMPERING SHITTALK PISSBALLS
42:19 Cramulus: I'M RELOADING RIGHT NOW SO YOU BETTER FUCKING PUT ON A HELMET AND TAKE A SHIT
42:26 Cainad: FOUL LANGUAGE
42:36 Malachite: <+Cramulus> SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL POUR RAZORS INTO YOUR SHIT AND TELL CHILDREN THAT IT IS A DELICIOUS SURPRISE, THEN SUE YOU <--- this is the best insult/threat I have heard in a while
43:05 Harlequin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BACK DOWN MOTHER FUCKER OR I'LL ROLL UP NEW SCIENTIST AND BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH SCIENCE EXCEPT IT WILL BE SCIENCE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD AND VOMIT AND SHIT
43:13 Cramulus: WHAT
43:41 Cramulus: I WILL WRAP YOU HEAD TO TOE IN DUCT TAPE AND PUT SNAKES IN YOUR INTESTINES THAT EAT YOUR SHIT SO WHEN YOU SHIT YOU SHIT SNAKES FULL OF SHIT
44:09 Harlequin: Well I find that just in bad taste
44:20 Cramulus: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
44:30 Cainad: ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT THE SLIMY DOLPHIN BALLS UP BEFORE I FORCE CANDIRU FISH INTO EveRY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR ORIFICES AND LIGHT YOUR FACE ON FIRE
45:08 Cramulus: YOU'RE A SODA DRINKING DANDRUFF SORTER WITH A BLACKLIGHT SENSITIVE ANAL BRAIN WITH ASS CHEEKS FOR LOBES
46:01 Cramulus: I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF YOUR INTRACTABLE MENTAL JIZZ OLYMPICS
46:47 Cramulus: BUT IN THE MEANTIME I AWARD YOU THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR BEING A SPECIAL-ED PISS POLYP
46:52 Cainad: YEAH WELL YOU'RE A SIDEWALK-SNIFFING ALCOHOLIC WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CONSTIPATION
47:20 Harlequin: YOUR SPAGMOSEXUAL ANTICS MAKE FUCKING RETARDED CROMAGNONS LOOK LIKE FREAKING UNIVERSITY GRADUATES FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF AWESOME-VILL THAT HAS A POLICY OF FUCKIGN ABORTING COCK-SUCKERS LIKE YOU IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER
48:01 Cainad: ALSO YOU DISGUST ME WITH YOUR DETRITUS-BASED ANAL PLAY DURING THE FUNERAL'S OF BELOVED GRANDMOTHERS
48:16 Cainad: FUNERALS, EveN
48:53 Cramulus: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN FIRE OUT OF YOUR FACE-ASS? I'VE PISSED IN THE SNOW AND IT WAS A TONY-AWARD WINNING NOVELLA COMPARED WITH THE SORT OF GUTTERPUNK VERBAL CANCER YOU LEAK LIKE AN OVERRIPE PUSTULE FULL OF CUM
49:23 Harlequin: I SPY JIZZ-MONKEYS OFF THE STARBOARD BOW AND THEY'VE GOT YOUR FUCKING NAME ON THEM. AND THEY SHARE YOUR LEveL OF STUPIDITY HENCE WHY THEY APPLY A SINGLE NAME TO A THE BUNCH OF THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN SINGLUAR AND PLURAL BECAUSE THEY'RE THAT FUCKIGN RETARDED. LIKE YOU
49:37 Cramulus: JESUS
49:57 Cramulus: I NEED MORE COFFEE
50:58 Cainad: YOUR SUCH AN ARROGANT BUTTJUICE CHUGGER THAT YOU PROBABLY DON'T EveN NOTICE THAT YOUR PUS-FILLED EYEBALLS EXPLODED ALL OVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IN FACT YOU PROBABLY FED IT TO YOUR DOG AND THEN DROPPED IT OUR THE WINDOW YOU ZIT-JUGGLING FUCKFACE
51:13 FAAAARK: sup cuntnuggets
51:14 Cramulus: fuck
51:15 Cainad: AND CALLED IT "ART"
51:32 Idem: my favorite one was "THE OTHER DAY I OPENED MY FRONT DOOR AND I WAS LIKE "OH HEY DUDE" BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A QUIVERING BOWL OF DOG SNOT THAT SOMEBODY HAD HEATED UP IN A MICROWAVE UNTIL IT STARTED TO SING SHOWTUNES AND CRAP PISS ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMN LAWN"
51:47 Cramulus: SHIT COCK RECHARGING
52:05 Cainad: EAR JIZZ ANTICS
52:51 P3nt4gr4m: what I really wanted from this place was crystal meth and a blowjob but I'll settle for tourettes
52:59 Cramulus: JESUS IT'S FUCKING P3NT
53:33 Cramulus: THAT IS TO SAY - JESUS SOME TOTAL MORON HAS JACKED PENT'S ACCOUNT AND NOW HE'S SAYING THE DUMBEST SHIT AN IDIOT COULD IMAGINE
55:48 Cramulus: I'LL GIVE YOU WOOD. I'LL RAM MY COCKKNOB RIGHT IN YOUR EYE UNTIL YOU BURST INTO TEARS BUT INSTEAD OF TEARS ITS HIGHLY ACIDIC URINE THAT EATS YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK AND SOME CUNT IS LIKE MOMMY MOMMY, DOES THAT MAN HAVE SOME SORT OF RENAL DEFECT? AND HER MOM WILL SAY NO SWEETHEART, HE'S JUST A FAT, JITTERY, LOATHSOME PIECE OF SHIT THAT CAN'T TELL HIS OWN FACE FROM A MOUNTAIN OF TODDLER TURDS THAT PEDOS
57:33 P3nt4gr4m: CRAM I RAMMED BOTH MY FISTS AND HALF MY FOOT IN YOUR MOMS ASSHOLE LAST NIGHT AND THEN SPENT SO LONG TRYING TO WORK OUT WHICH HOLE WAS WHICH SHE UNLOADED THE MOTHER OF ALL FOLLOW THROUGHS RIGHT IN MY FACE.
57:41 P3nt4gr4m: i GOT CHARGED EXTRA FOR THAT
57:41 Cramulus: ANAL SWEAT SHIT DICKS FUCK SHIT URINE PISS FUCK DRIPPINGS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE SMELLS LIKE SOME KIND OF ANAL RACE
59:16 P3nt4gr4m: BABY ASS RAPE
59:25 Cramulus: IT TOOK ME 18 MONTHS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT UP WITH YOUR VERBAL AIDS YOU DICK TURBAN
59:28 ***Cramulus breathing heavily
59:37 Cramulus: can't.... stop... fuck....
00:17 P3nt4gr4m: WHY NOT TRY FUCKING YOURSELF IN THE WINDPIPE WITH A LENGTH OF ROTTING HORSE COCK
01:00 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU EAT A WHOLE CANOE FULL OF MORMON MEN ALL JACKING EACH OTHER OFF
01:15 P3nt4gr4m: POUR SOME BLEACH DOWN IT TO SIMULATE SPOOGE
01:43 Cramulus: HOW ABOUT YOU DIE TEN TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN I'LL FIST YOUR WIFE ON YOUR GRAVE
01:46 Cramulus: AND SHE'LL SHIT
02:11 P3nt4gr4m: SUPERGLUE YOUR EYES TO A BABIES NIPPLES THEN JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND SEE WHICH COMES OFF FIRST
02:24 Astantia: whoa
02:29 P3nt4gr4m: SRSLY
02:42 Cramulus: FIRST YOU FIGURE THIS OUT: WHAT HAS MORE KNUCKLES - YOUR MOM'S HAIRY ASS FEET, OR YOUR COLON WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU?
02:57 Cainad: I THINK YOU REALLY OUGHT TO SLIDE BARE-ASSED DOWN A PALM TREE COVERED IN FERRET LYMPH NODES SO THAT I CAN THEN REMOVE YOUR DESTROYED ANUS AND SELL IT ON EBAY SO THEN I'LL HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY AN ELECTRIC EEL TO SHOVE UP YOUR URETHRA
02:58 Cramulus: HINT: YOUR MOTHER LOST A FOOT TO DIABETES AND IS A SMELLY CUNT
03:17 P3nt4gr4m: MY MOMS ASS DOESN'T HAVE FEET - THAT'S YOUR INBRED FUCKING SIUSTER YOURE THINKING ABOUT
03:23 Cramulus: SHIT
03:54 Cramulus: MY INBRED SISTER IS A SAINT AND YOU'RE A CARTOON CHARACTER DOING HARD TIME FOR DICKS
04:35 P3nt4gr4m: ONE MOAR REMARK THAT THAT AND i'LL GIVE YOU A CHAINSAW ENEMA THEN FILL THE CARNAGE FULL OF SEMOLINA AND GET A RETARD TO LICK IT OUT
04:45 Cainad: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS PASTRIES MADE OUT OF SCROTUMS
05:07 P3nt4gr4m: YOUR INBRED SISTER EATS ANYONE WHO GIVES HER A COOKIE
06:23 P3nt4gr4m: TALK ABOUT BEATING AROUND THE BUSH
06:41 P3nt4gr4m: JUST WHAT THE FUCK EXACTLY YOU TRYING TO SAY THERE JIZZGARGLER?
06:57 Cramulus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
06:59 Cramulus: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
07:15 Cramulus: YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID NIPPLEDICK IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY BLOOD OUT OF MY ASS
07:33 Cramulus: OR JIZZ TEARS OF SORROW INTO THAT DISGUSTING CRAP YOU MADE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT
07:37 Cramulus: EITHER WAY, FUCK YOU
08:14 P3nt4gr4m: YOU MAKE ME WANT TO DONKEYPUNCH MY OWN GRANDMA TILL HER HAIR FALLS OUT THEN MAKE A DILDO OUT OF THE HAIR AND SET FIRE TO IT BEFORE RAMMING IT UP YOUR URETHRA
09:20 P3nt4gr4m: HOLY FUCK
09:33 P3nt4gr4m: ARE YOU HAVING SOME KINDA EMBOLISM OR SOMETHING?
10:01 Cramulus: I DON'T KNOW!!!
10:16 Cramulus: THIS IS KILLLLLLLLLING MEEEEEEEE
10:30 Cramulus: IT SEEMS I CAN'T STOP SWEARING
10:41 Cramulus: EveRY TIME I THINK IT'S GOING TO END, I READ SOMETHING YOU SAID AND IT SETS ME OFF AGAIN
11:04 P3nt4gr4m: COS i'M SETTING UP A WESITE WHERE WE INDUCE EMBOLISMS IN VISRGINS, JUST AT THE POINT OF THEIR FIRST ORGASM AND THEN FILM WEASELS, LICKING THE BLOOD OUT THE EARS BEFORE WE FUCK THE WEASELS SO HARD THEY SPLODEY THEN WE RUB THE BITS INTO THE DEAD VIRGIN'S ASSHOLE AAND SET FIRE TO IT
11:13 P3nt4gr4m: YOU ARE A VIRGIN RIGHT?
11:16 Cramulus: YOU'RE LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY-TRIP TO THE RETARD ZOO, BUT EveRYBODY'S A CLONE OF YOUR WORTHLESS JIZZ-SCULPTURE-FACE
11:24 Cramulus: SHIT
12:17 P3nt4gr4m: WE'RE CALLING THE SITE WWW.ARISTOCRATS.COM
13:00 P3nt4gr4m: ANYWAY - I JUST WANTED TO DROP BY TO SAY FUCK YUO
13:09 P3nt4gr4m: AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY
13:19 Cramulus: EAT DICKS X100
13:30 Cainad: CRAM YOUR COPROLALIA IS FUCKING INTOLERABLE. YOUR IMMATURE AND QUITE CLEARLY FURRY-EROTIC DESIRE TO PUKE YOUR MENTAL RENAL FAILURE IS A CANCER THAT GIVES EveRYONE UNDESCENDED TESTICLES
13:33 Cramulus: THIS IS ALL [000]
13:34 Cramulus: ALL HIS FAULT
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY
IN ADDITION,
UP YOURS
(http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/92/netauronge.jpg)
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS
STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS
STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?
STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS
STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?
STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE
FOURTEEN.
I ALSO HAVE A BLADDER LIKE A CAMEL.
Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.
Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.
YOU DROPPED YOUR CAT?? BUT YOU JUST GOT A NEW ONE
I HAVE STARTED, YOU CUMGUZZLING DONKEYRAPERS
STARTED WHAT, ASSBAG, CRYING TEARS OF DEFEAT INTO YOUR PUNY MANDARINS?
STARTED TO OWN YOUR ASS, TWATTING CUNTHOLE. FIVE
FOURTEEN.
I ALSO HAVE A BLADDER LIKE A CAMEL.
SEVEN.
I BET YOU HAVE A TOE LIKE A CAMEL TOO.
Also, I will take a break for a few hours later, to pick up the cat.
HOW ABOUT MONDAY
IT'S SCROTUM LUTHER KING DAY
IN ADDITION,
UP YOURS
I'm game for Monday, you leper-fucks.
ho my SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK
I JUST WOKE UP
AND NOW IT'S TIME TO GET ILL
LITERALLY ILL
FUCK YOU SPAGS IN THE GOAT HOLE
My friend and overseer, Ritalin told me I'm not allowed to come out to play this year. Too many kitchen counters to wipe down 37 times.
I will not be talking the smack this year. I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges. So I will tell you lot my final total later.
SHUT YOUR ORANGE HOLE, NON PARTICIPANT!I will not be talking the smack this year. I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges. So I will tell you lot my final total later.
Kinda defeats the whole purpose.
SHUT YOUR ORANGE HOLE, NON PARTICIPANT!I will not be talking the smack this year. I am too tired, and want to be reclining while I eat my oranges. So I will tell you lot my final total later.
Kinda defeats the whole purpose.
-sigh- i guess you're reight though.
SWEET MERCIFUL FUCK. WHO FUCKING SAID NAVELS ARE A WINTER FRUIT? GOD DAMMIT, THEY'RE RIGHT. THESE BASTARDS ARE SO SWEET AS I CRAM THEM DOWN MY MAW.
ALSO, SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE, YOU SHITCOCKERS.
SO WHERE IS NET? ALL I WAS READING WHILE CATCHING UP WAS HIM SHOUTING AT AN EMPTY ROOM, AND ONCE PEOPLE STARTED SHOWING UP, BAM! HE'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
ALSO, TWO DOWN.
SUMMONING A GHOST ASS
OHAI NET
I AM DEVOURING NUMBER FOUR RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. YOU MAY HAVE BOUT TEN HOURS ON ME, BUT HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP UP THE EATING?
I'm taking a poo break, and have just shat 23 :fnord: cumsnarfing orange s worth of pulp. Suck it, trout-butt spelunkers!
A CROCK OF DICKS
and by that I mean
I WANT A BAGEL
Text from Net:
"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Next message:
They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.
SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS
:eek:
I'm almost glad I wasn't able to participate this time around
my god.. my guts hurt ... from laughing
and also from oranges
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Net says he ate 18 balls of California hate. A little more than 8 pounds of oranges.
WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES
Text from Net:
"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Next message:
They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.
SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS
SORRY TO HEAR
TEXT FROM NET;Would he have had a straight face?
Zoomcare referred me to the ER to locate the source of the bleeding. Now would be an amusing time to repost some of my shit talking in the Famous Last Words thread.
_______________
Can you imagine the conversation he had with the nurse? I wonder how he explained, with a straight face, why he ate 8 pounds of oranges in like three hours?
Text from Net:
"Hey Cram, Net here. Please inform the spags I started vomiting blood. I'm waiting to see a doctor right now. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
Next message:
They're trying to keep me out of the ER. Gave me Zofram some sort of anti-nausea bollocks that dissolves under one's idiotic tongue.
SCROTE MERCIFUL FUCKWAD NET IS VOMITING BLOOD? HOLY GOD DAMN INSANE MEDICAL JIZZ PATROL THIS CONTEST ROCKS
Official Purple Orange Award Proclimation
NET WINS THE PURPLE ORANGE AWARD FOR 2012. IT IS AWARDED TO A SPAG INJURED OR DISCHARGED IN ACTION WHILE PARTICIPATING IN A FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST. IT IS A HIGH HONOR AND ALSO A DISGRACEFUL MARK THAT YOU MUST WEAR IN SHAME AND MOCKERY IN PERPETUITY.
SO WHILE YOU MAY FEEL BAD FOR NET, BE JEALOUS AS WELL
for he both rules and is stupid in ways none of us have achieved
REACH FOR THE STARS, SPAGS
DOES THIS MEAN HE QUITS?
DOES THIS MEAN HE QUITS?
it means he WINS
YOU TURBID GERBIL-SMUGGLERS MADE EIGHT POUNDS OF ORANGES SOUND WAY WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.
Using the magic of the quote function, let's go back in time a few hours.......:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:YOU TURBID GERBIL-SMUGGLERS MADE EIGHT POUNDS OF ORANGES SOUND WAY WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY IS.
:pax:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Of Tums and Prep H, I'm sure.I was thinking of grapefruits. 16 pounds of grapefruits. :lulz:
So, what are the totals so far?
I'm holding at 23 right now.
:D :hi5: :DOf Tums and Prep H, I'm sure.I was thinking of grapefruits. 16 pounds of grapefruits. :lulz:
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
That really doesn't sound good.
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
That really doesn't sound good.
EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news. Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
That really doesn't sound good.
EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news. Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.
I ate 11 lbs last year.
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
That really doesn't sound good.
EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news. Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.
I ate 11 lbs last year.
But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget. Different case entirely.
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
That really doesn't sound good.
EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news. Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.
I ate 11 lbs last year.
But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget. Different case entirely.
:lol:
from Net:
The triage nurse laughed at me. :) The good news is that the blood is getting brighter red, the bad news is that I keep vomiting blood. I'm being admitted to the regular ass hospital now so thanks for dreaming up this turd-spackled contest, captain ass spanner.
_____
yo, if we can pick a get well thing of some sort, I will totally throw in
because this shit is bananas
That really doesn't sound good.
EIGHT POUNDS of ANYTHING is bad fucking news. Eight pounds of CITRIC ACID-LOADED oranges is pretty near suicide.
I ate 11 lbs last year.
But you can unhinge your jaw and eat a whole midget. Different case entirely.
:lol:
One of these days I'm going to have to collect up all the Nigel facts.
And the Richter ones, too.
Holyshit you spags. I hope Net is OK. Have we heard from him recently?
Net is my fucking hero.
from Net:
The Doc said I should be fine and that stomachs are pretty badass organs. I was just discharged.
TELL HIM HE HAS TO EAT SIX MORE TO WIN.
Up to fifteen now. Think I'll call it a day.Your cigarette, sir. Is it backwards? Is that some Eurospag thing?
(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s131/Slesk/Photoon1-17-12at104AM3.jpg)
Tonight on eye witness news, Orange Eating Contests, the deadly game sweeping the nation. A harmless consumption of seasonal citrus, or an acidic nightmare waiting to prey upon its unsuspecting victims
HE LIVES!
I'm still perversely entertained by this whole thing and I hope you are too.
Also, I'm honored to receive the Purple Orange and sincerely appreciate the concern for my health.
I will need a little time to go over the rest of this thread, to sleep, to track down possible pics of The Initial Barf, and to make my thoughts a bit more, uh, digestible.
Good game, asshats.
I'm still perversely entertained by this whole thing and I hope you are too.
Also, I'm honored to receive the Purple Orange and sincerely appreciate the concern for my health.
I will need a little time to go over the rest of this thread, to sleep, to track down possible pics of The Initial Barf, and to make my thoughts a bit more, uh, digestible.
Good game, asshats.
Net, YOU ARE A FUCKING HERO.
aargh, I wish I had been paying attention! I woulda joined this year!
And NET YOU CRAZY FUCKER.Up to fifteen now. Think I'll call it a day.Your cigarette, sir. Is it backwards? Is that some Eurospag thing?
(http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s131/Slesk/Photoon1-17-12at104AM3.jpg)
Oh, god, I forgot about the smell :horrormirth:
Damn, Net, hope you recover without that thing that makes you walk through the produce section and start twitching uncontrollably.
Also, quiet, understated post which bears repeating:Oh, god, I forgot about the smell :horrormirth:
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE. :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE. :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
Fuck you. My arse hurts. And i have a fever. :lulz:
HEY ASSHOLES, ASIDE FROM SLIGHT ACIDIC DAMAGE TO MY LIPS, AND THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING STILL TASTES LIKE FUCKING ORANGES, I'M FINE. :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
Fuck you. My arse hurts. And i have a fever. :lulz:
Well, if you're catching a cold, you're probably set on vitamin C.
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.
The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.
Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.
HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
Next time, we first ask Eris to SURPRISE US.
Also, I'm still wondering who Dingus Thingus Rurouzaru is? Anyone we know but changed their name? The account's pretty old? Placid Dingo perhaps? And did he REALLY eat 23 oranges? He should at least get honorary second.
Next time, we first ask Eris to SURPRISE US.
Also, I'm still wondering who Dingus Thingus Rurouzaru is? Anyone we know but changed their name? The account's pretty old? Placid Dingo perhaps? And did he REALLY eat 23 oranges? He should at least get honorary second.
Whomever ate the most oranges wins.
You don't win the Indy 500 by smashing your car into the stands. I mean, that's a win in anybody's book, but you didn't win the race.
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick
WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT??
Maybe next time y'all should try something that won't make you sick
WHERE IS THE FUN IN THAT??
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.
The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.
Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.
HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.
The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.
Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.
HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.
Seriously how i read that the first time. To which I say a hearty "You're fucking on!"The first time around, Cram shit his pance.
The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.
Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.
HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grapefruit Eating Contest.
why isn't this by weight anyways?
why isn't this by weight anyways?I think Valencias counted as 3/4 of a navel last time, right? So if we came up with a fair measure for Clementines...
it's not like there isn't a scale right there at the point of purchase for the stuff....
i mean, i might participate in the next bout of Pyrrhic citrus glory, but i specialize in clementine guzzling. it would hardly be fair of me to count each of those diminutive pearls of pH punishment on the level with the hulking and clumsy navel cannonballs....
For the same reason the Aztecs didn't measure human sacrifice in fluid ounces, despite there being buckets everywhere.
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTESTClementines are oranges. :lol:
YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
"Pip pip, I politely consumed 4 kilograms of oranges minus, if you don't count the inedible rinds. Goodness!"
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
why isn't this by weight anyways?I think Valencias counted as 3/4 of a navel last time, right? So if we came up with a fair measure for Clementines...
it's not like there isn't a scale right there at the point of purchase for the stuff....
i mean, i might participate in the next bout of Pyrrhic citrus glory, but i specialize in clementine guzzling. it would hardly be fair of me to count each of those diminutive pearls of pH punishment on the level with the hulking and clumsy navel cannonballs....
IT A GOD DAMN FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
YES, YOU COULD EAT A COMPARABLE VOLUME OF CLEMENTINES, GRAPES, STRAWBERRY DAIQUIRIS, FLINTSTONES VITAMINS, FRUIT SNACKS, EDIBLE UNDERWEAR, SNOZBERRIES, MERKINS, WHATEVER, BUT YOU WILL NOT WIN THE FUCKING FUCKING ORANGE EATING CONTEST
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.
Was it a stomach ulcer?
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.
The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.
Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.
HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.
See now I could eat a shit ton of grapes if they were so damned expensive. Especially if credit were given for juice... :lulz:
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.
Was it a stomach ulcer?
It most likely wasn't an ulcer. I had been taking a lot, but not excessive amounts, of ibuprofen last week which I now know weakens the lining of your stomach. There were two different doctors' opinions on what was bleeding, either my stomach or my esophagus (from barfing up such a large quantity of fibrous matter).
I just slept for about 18 hours, feel even better today and am preparing to go to work.
Again, thank you all for expressing your concern and support which was relayed to me yesterday by Cram.
I'm still composing a little debriefing that I'll post tonight after my shift is over, as well as responses to the superb posts that I don't have time right now to properly show my appreciation for.
I'm also still chuckling.
The first time around, Cram shit his pance.
The second time, Nigel proved she is UberFrau.
Now, Net pukes blood and is hospitalized.
HOW DO WE TOP OURSELVES NEXT TIME?
If you guys weren't such wimps you'd join me in the Grape Eating Contest.
See now I could eat a shit ton of grapes if they were so damned expensive. Especially if credit were given for juice... :lulz:
nope, has to be grapes. And not those pussy seedless ones either. You should be able to find them pretty cheap at a farmers market, if they're grown anywhere nearby. I ended up getting about 25+ pounds of them for $17. And I ate about 3 pounds of them in one evening (Grape Eating Contest goes by weight, not like those silly oranges).
I spent the next 2 days power-shitting copious piles of grape pulp. Oranges are nothing.
NOTHING, I SAY.
The only good thing that came of this was that we turned Waffle Iron into a Murriken by means of senseless gluttony.
he meant 'murriken.
it is our fashion to increase efficiency by dropping the preceeding 'Uh'.
The only good thing that came of this was that we turned Waffle Iron into a Murriken by means of senseless gluttony.
What the cock is a Murriken? Some sort of Tusconian Merkin?
Oh gosh Net! Glad you're alive.
Was it a stomach ulcer?
It most likely wasn't an ulcer. I had been taking a lot, but not excessive amounts, of ibuprofen last week which I now know weakens the lining of your stomach. There were two different doctors' opinions on what was bleeding, either my stomach or my esophagus (from barfing up such a large quantity of fibrous matter).
I just slept for about 18 hours, feel even better today and am preparing to go to work.
Again, thank you all for expressing your concern and support which was relayed to me yesterday by Cram.
I'm still composing a little debriefing that I'll post tonight after my shift is over, as well as responses to the superb posts that I don't have time right now to properly show my appreciation for.
I'm also still chuckling.
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs
Excuse me, what in the shitcocking fuck are you talking about?
I know that causing a lot of physical harm to your body is one of the ways to get out from one of the biggest BIPs
Excuse me, what in the shitcocking fuck are you talking about?
Killing yourself. I think.
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.
Waitwaitwait
Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.
Waitwaitwait
Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?
Yeah, FUCK YUO
I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE
didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning
If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze
YOU WANT FUN? TRY HOSPITAL INTAKE FORUMS!
"Extreme Illness" is the 2012 extreme sport. You get sick in an awful, unpleasant way, for basically no reason at all.
other sports under this heading include RENAL MADNESS, the no-drink hangover, and all-night cram session benders in which you don't actually study
EXTREME SHITTING IS EXTREME FUN
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.
Waitwaitwait
Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?
Yeah, FUCK YUO
I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE
didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning
If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze
at Thanksgiving, I trash talk my brothers and uncles into entering this year's 500 METER HURL. As soon as the last one of the participants is done eating, IT IS ON. This event includes several laps around the house. Dirty tricks are played. Trampoline may be in play. This contest is awful.
I think I will need to explain myself clearer.
What I meant was "I know that causing a lot of harm to your body is one of the ways to achieve transcendental states of consciousness, but this is fucking insane," but using the BIP metaphor, with the "achieve transcendental sates of consciousness" replaced to "get out from the one of the biggest BIPs", aka reality. (If you still don't understand, see the etymology of the word "trance"). Apparently, it didn't worked as I intended. It was some stupid sarcastic sentence, and I am perfectly aware that the orange eating contest is just a fun activity you do here sometimes, though the results of the last one aren't fun at all.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
About the fucking retard, I can say that that is an objectively supported statement, because the last time I took an IQ test, my score had been only 2. No kidding.
Waitwaitwait
Who said the results of the last one weren't fun?
Yeah, FUCK YUO
I had 21 oranges INSIDE OF MY BODY ALL AT ONCE
didn't shit all day, didn't puke until 6 am the next morning
If that's not quality entertainment, then you're a masticated dick trapeze
:awesome:
Too busy to add much at the moment, but I'm awaiting a graphic photo of what I should have slowly excreted into the toilet over many days.
I'm still writing down how I've made sense of this painfully funny episode.
Moar like oranges and death...
Moar like oranges and death...
YES!
Moar like oranges and death...
YES!
Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?
Moar like oranges and death...
YES!
Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?
OH YEAH! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE REIGNING CHAMP IS, BUT ILL TRY TO TOP THE TOTAL FOR THE BELT.
IF CRAM CRAMS OUT ILL JUST TALK SHIT UNTIL HE HAS TO BLOCK ME FROM FUCKING FACEBOOK LIKE A LIMP CHODE!!
I was just going to sit a vigil, but this is better in every way.
Moar like oranges and death...
YES!
Are you going to orange yourself if Cram doesn't respond?
OH YEAH! I DON'T KNOW WHO THE REIGNING CHAMP IS, BUT ILL TRY TO TOP THE TOTAL FOR THE BELT.
IF CRAM CRAMS OUT ILL JUST TALK SHIT UNTIL HE HAS TO BLOCK ME FROM FUCKING FACEBOOK LIKE A LIMP CHODE!!
I was just going to sit a vigil, but this is better in every way.
I believe the winner last time was hospitalized.
Say goodbye to your lower intestine
Say goodbye to your lower intestine
I will when my soul exits stage left.
BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!
Say goodbye to your lower intestine
I will when my soul exits stage left.
BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!!
Your soul will no doubt exit your body alongside your bowels and a copious amount of blood.
Cain,
has seen this sort of thing before
It looks like unprocessed poop, and blood.
Which is a funny coincidence, because...
I'm so hungry and full at the same time. Something smells bad and I don't know if it's me. There's still 12 left just in the first bag.
I really can't believe this is happening again.
Best reboot of Groundhog Day ever.
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.
Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.
7 defeated. My stomach is very insistent that all this is a bad idea and I should feel bad. My hands are orange-dry and my nails are coated in rind.
Then stop for a while and wash them hands asap. The chemical will just keep chewing on you otherwise.
I feel like you don't understand the point of oranges.
Does vodka count as other food?
Does vodka count as other food?
No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.
Does vodka count as other food?
No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.
9 down
the goal of this is not to be comfortable.
(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)
Does vodka count as other food?
No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.
9 down
the goal of this is not to be comfortable.
(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)
Well I better get eating again then!!
Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.
Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?
Does vodka count as other food?
No. I don't recommend also drinking for all kinds of reasons. Alcohol will strip your stomach lining and make the acid very much worse sunce you're going hardcore with no other foods.
9 down
the goal of this is not to be comfortable.
(http://static2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/If+i+see+that+nathan+faced+pikachu+quot+brutal+quot+meme+_d3fe034bf100e84e4a2be4222e860663.gif)
Well I better get eating again then!!
Still, don't be putting yourself in the hospital.
Tell ya what I'll forego the yogurts on my final run. I have about 7 hrs left until midnight and 14 oranges. I'll go the last bunch hardcore, you consider taking it easy on the booze and drinking a water chaser if you feel you absolutely.. must. Deal?
lol I don't think I'm heading to the hospital.
#10 is sitting there, taunting me.
Caved and ate a slice of pizza. Next orange is penance.
(http://i.imgur.com/XS9fLqn.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/hHb6i0J.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/gzmDCri.png)
You know, Net almost died from that shit, right?
Nigel sez:
"WTF is wrong with you idiots? I love you stupid motherfuckers."
I say:
KEEP FUCKING EATING. Emotionally, I am tepid.*
*Not true. I love you too. Stop it.
Until somebody else eats 4 pounds of grapes in one day, I'm not even remotely impressed with any of this.
Oranges are so bush-league.
ECH,
Asswine > Poodriver
I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid.
I woke up feeling fantastic! First shit was.... interesting, but otherwise not feeling bad at all.
I think if there was more peer pressure I could have done better than an even dozen. Joe exceeded all expectations.
I felt the very strong need to do something pointless and stupid.
Sure, we all do. That's why we have feuds. Anyways, you can always go alley-blasting, or picking up women in Sheboygan. There's no need to shove a quart or so of citric acid into your digestive tract.
You complete goddamn lunatics.
Alty has kept me updated on your willingness to deliberately do this terrible thing to yourselves.
I am a wreck, but you have made me smile and I love you.
I am indeed the one known as Freeky.
Pff. Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.
I am indeed the one known as Freeky.
Pff. Dis fread iz grayt an' you know it.
:lulz: Certainly changed my life! :)
I'm hungry.
Oh, look, there's oranges on my desk...
The orange tree in the common area behind my place is flowering.
SOON.
Research you say?
http://www.livestrong.com/article/454646-the-effects-of-eating-too-many-oranges/
The comments section is woefully understated. These people have no idea.
https://recordsetter.com/search?q=oranges
Again, tragically lacking.
https://recordsetter.com/world-record/eat-three-pounds-california-mandarin-oranges/28526?autoplay=true
I am unsure of this in relation to quantities consumed in thread.
I'm sorry I missed this.
But also, you fucks have completely ruined oranges for me, so fuck you. Even smelling an orange gives me this pavlovian response: nausea, disgust... loathing. They're horrible. Like planets of acid, floating in an infinite void of ... bullshit ... fuck you
I swear to god, a coworker just stopped by my desk with a plate of orange slices and said "Here, help yourself" and I reflexively made a snarly noise. Is she reading this forum or something? what the fuck
I'm sorry I missed this.
But also, you fucks have completely ruined oranges for me, so fuck you. Even smelling an orange gives me this pavlovian response: nausea, disgust... loathing. They're horrible. Like planets of acid, floating in an infinite void of ... bullshit ... fuck you
We are the worst kind of masochists.
Glad you didn't need the hospital trip.
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?
Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!
-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?
Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!
-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.
I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing. :p
Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.
I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.
I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?
Edit: Okay, so I read why, BUT STILL, DUDE. YOU'VE READ THE HORRORS!
-Suu
Just felt her asshole pucker all over again.
I'm very slowly rebounding from a black depression that's brought me too close to a very different precipice these last couple months and getting myself all hopped up on ORANGES..... was appealing. :p
Puns aside, I REALLY underestimated the fuckers by more than I even figured possible. Here's the fucked up part: Even in the worst of the agony I felt a certain thrill. It wasn't masochism. The pain was a massive distraction from the good feeling I had, in fact. I don't think it was a product of the bitter ass chemistry at play either, nor the "rush" of an altered state. I can do more with less and no side effects in meditation if I so choose, not my first rodeo as they say.
I think it was the unexpected challenge I brought on myself and the sense that even though I'd brought it on myself it was also mine alone to overcome. Again I only told the most technical parts of the experience for the reason stated, but the rest of that story feels like it helped me seal the shit these last couple months behind me.
I soppose I could say I was tossed and laid out for trespass, but they deposited me on the far side of their turf, where I was headed. They are now between me and what I left behind. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the feeling.
What you felt, son, was the thrill of being an ATHLETE. Of pushing your body to its limits. Being a competitive orange-eater isn't just about an event, it's about a mindset and a lifestyle. It's about a way of being. It's about being WILLING to eat orange after orange, even when the body and everyone around you says no. It's about KNOWING that you might shit yourself or vomit blood. It's about SMELLING the orange sweat for days afterward.
When you're an orange-eating competitor, you are more than just an athlete. You are AN HERO.
I hear their siren song...This became my unofficial theme song for the last competition. I hadn't seen this video until now and it made me give even MORE association.
I hear their siren song...
Uhh i'm gonna have to buy more oranges because those got turned into orange vodka.
And I don't know how I feel about turning my insides into outsides in the near future.
This thread is now 68 pages of people not learning a damn thing. And I love you all for it.
May the gods have mercy on your bowels for citrus surely will not.
The Catholics have the flagellum.
Muslims have Ashura.
Discordians have fucking oranges.
ATHLETES:PREPAREYOURSPHINCTERS!
decades of ranting, and what we'll be known for is the occasional jackass showing up at the ER with his ass leaking like a Russian crown prince. :lulz:
fuck all of you
no...
FUCK ALL OF YOU
no.... NO
FUCK YOU ALL
ONE
OK i'm done.
:argh!: I had assumed that the fruit trucks outside of my building would have whole oranges. They only have diced oranges for fruit salad. This city is full of barbarians.
BWAHAHAHA! i HAVE EATEN MY 7TH ORANGE, AND IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS.
JOSEPH, YOUR PREVIOUS FORAYS INTO ORANGE COUNTRY HAVE EARNED MY RESPECT, SO YOU, PERHAPS, DO NOT HAVE TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.
I am going to take a short break and devour some meat.
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again
I had a blood orange a couple of days ago just to see if there was any experiential difference when I happened to see them on sale.
There was not. :|
Don'the start this shit again. Mine was blood oranges and whoops they are in season again
I had a blood orange a couple of days ago just to see if there was any experiential difference when I happened to see them on sale.
There was not. :|
They are slightly less acidic on average. I find this makes them less tasty, not more.
It is interesting, this orange-as-sacrament evolution.
I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.
They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.
I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.
They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.
I just told a bunch of people about the orange eating contest, and Cram's, Vex's, and TWJ's experiences with it.
They don't seem to want to play. I can't imagine why.
They don't know what they're missing.
I mean, if they did they would be relieved, but the fact remains that they don't know.
I haven't eaten oranges in FOREVER
Here we go again.
Taking bets on the ER pool.
The oranges are not in themselves dangerous, but not respecting them is straight up stupid.
QuoteThe oranges are not in themselves dangerous, but not respecting them is straight up stupid.
FUCK YOU MY FATHER DIED FROM NOT RESPECTING ORANGES
[Detective] We have reports that you were running some kind of heavens gate self harm cult website
[Faust] That's bullshit
[Detective] Here's a link to the orange eating contest
[Faust] Ok fine yes
Okay, I am genuinely confused. Am I just immune to oranges? Cause I ate a shit ton last time plus pith plus not eating other things and there was none of this "OH NO MY ASSHOLE" "BRB HOSPITALS" going on.
Okay, I am genuinely confused. Am I just immune to oranges? Cause I ate a shit ton last time plus pith plus not eating other things and there was none of this "OH NO MY ASSHOLE" "BRB HOSPITALS" going on.
Okay, I am genuinely confused. Am I just immune to oranges? Cause I ate a shit ton last time plus pith plus not eating other things and there was none of this "OH NO MY ASSHOLE" "BRB HOSPITALS" going on.
Okay, I am genuinely confused. Am I just immune to oranges? Cause I ate a shit ton last time plus pith plus not eating other things and there was none of this "OH NO MY ASSHOLE" "BRB HOSPITALS" going on.